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Sunday, April 18, 2010

Warhammer Fantasy Battles 8th Ed. Announced, Terrible Cover Released

Unless you're dead to the rest of the world, you probably already know that GW has officially announced the release of WFB 8th ed. You may have also gotten the e-mail from them with the full proclamation. You may have even read the whole thing searching for hints about rules or game play changes. I did, and they weren't there. I would now like that 2 minutes back. Thanks for making me read up on all the fluff that I already knew about. That sure got me excited about the new book. Please GW tell me more about this "Chaos" you speak of.

Well with no real meat to sink our bones in to what are we to do with this news? Why find something to make fun of, of course.

Did you see that new book cover? In case you missed it, it's the big fucking picture at the top of this post. Maybe somebody who follows this stuff a little more closely can answer this, but did GW recently fire their entire art department only to hire a bunch of stoner metal heads? Having followed the company since the early 90s, which featured some of the worst art since their early 80s efforts (when as far as I know GW was actually run by stoner metal heads), it's been nice to watch GWs art evolve into something worthy of some praise. Then they release this dud right on the heels of the spectacular Salvador Dali melting head Blood Angels Codex cover.

All of the action in the background is your standard fare. Not poorly executed, but quite unremarkable just the same. But check out that awesome flaming hammer on the cover. Is it supposed to be flying through the air on jet engines or something? It seriously looks like somebody with my spectacular photo editing abilities photoshopped those flames in as an afterthought*. I'm just going to assume that somebody accidentally mixed up the real cover art with the album cover for Sweden's newest melodic power metal act, Basalt Monolith**.


*I didn't do it, I swear. Go check out the cover elsewhere, they all have the rockethammer. Unless, of course this whole blog isn't written by some dude in a metal band in Chicago, but by somebody on the inside at GW...Ok the cat's out of the bag, I'm really John Blanche.

**This band doesn't exist. Or it does and you're not cool enough to have heard of them yet.


Chumbalaya said...

Basalt Monolith is fucking mehtawl!!

I don't mind the cover much, it's got the twin-tailed comet hammer thingy. Warhammer's always been ludicrously grimdark and metal.

I'm more concerned about the rules inside, hopefully they won't suck.

Randroid said...

Yeah ... that cover sucks. Looks like a warhammer with rockets strapped to the back. ROCKETHAMMER!!@!

The CPT said...

I hope they put one of those sound effects things inside the front cover like the greeting cards have, so when you open the book it lets loose with an awesome metal guitar riff.

Side note - I think Basalt Monolith was a M:TG card.

Dethtron said...

@CPT- It's totally a MTG card. sort of an inside joke b/w a few friends of mine and my band. we're in the process of changing names and started randomly pulling MTG cards to get ideas. I like Helldozer and Avatar of Woe a lot, but nobody else seemed to. Also there's that pesky copyright issue...

totally think you're right about the sound effects built into the book :)

I'd also like to point out that I beat BoLS to the punch with publishing this:) there are some pretty awesome user comments on their version of this announcement though. Something about the genesis of 40k lying in the rocket powered hammer of sigmar. LOLz

Randroid said...

I understand it is supposed to be the twin tailed comet ... but why the hell did they put it behind the hammer head?! It looks like a damn rocket!!

SandWyrm said...

Naw you're not John Blanche, he would have painted a more interesting cover (And I don't even like his art style.).

The_King_Elessar said...

Rockethammer is a hint as to the return of Chaos Dwarves?

Kirby said...

I hadn't heard of it, what does that say of me!? (is this proof I'm not Kirby from GW yet?)

I thought the flying hammer from SW was hint of that TKE?

The_King_Elessar said...

No, that was an in-joke between me and Phil Kelly...he was indicating the next Eldar Codex will indeed have Iyanna Arienal as an Upgrade Character in Wraithguard.

Or, I made that up.