" a piss ant blog" -Rikimaru

"Dethtron, you are...an asshole" - 38% of Dick Move Readers

" I probably won't read unless I'm bored as shit at work" - A. Hack

"I cannot bring myself to actually read this drivel"- anonymous

"pox riddled post coital stain of a blog"- anonymous

Friday, July 30, 2010

Friday Night Internet Fight, Round 22

Hey guys, it's Friday again and time for another Internet Fight.  This week I actually found something golden without having to look too hard- as in this was the first thread I clicked on this morning. 

Friday Night Internet Fight, Round 21 Results Show

Can anybody say landslide victory?  Rabbit, the greatest mod of all time was able to float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, and troll a troll with the greatest of ease.  This was enough to secure him 72% of the 68 total votes from last week.

KizzyPop, the most wretched troll ever, was able to secure 5% of the votes.  I'm just going to assume that you thought his behaviour was a deliberate act and he accomplished his mission.  "Whoever wins, society loses" grabbed the biggest non-rabbit chunk of the pie with 14% of the votes.  I think I was the only person who voted against memes, so I guess you guys all think that memes are the greatest thing ever.  Here's an oldy but a goody for all you sheeple:

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Project Mayhem, Half-assed Baseball Metaphors, and Dethtron Probably Makes Fun of Your Country

Where to begin?

I was really excited about starting project mayhem a few weeks ago.  I really thought that it was going to be a smash hit and rival FNIF for ill-conceived things I've done that randomly turn out to be popular.  How wrong I was.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Where in the World is Carmen---- Erm I mean Dethtron?

Been absent from the blogosphere for a couple days longer than I anticipated and I failed to get a project mayhem post up.  Well there are a lot of reasons for that.  Want to see some victim statements?

Friday, July 23, 2010

Friday Night Internet Fight, Round 21

This week it's back to just me.  The group thing from last week was pretty successful, so I may bring that back every once in a while, but it was way too logistically hard to get together to do that on a regular basis.  It'll have to be a special occasions thing.

Friday Night Internet Fight, Round 20 Results Show

We had a surprisingly low voter turnout for the first ever group snowmobiling of a thread.  Looks like I might have to start marketing towards the elderly to drive votes.  Or I guess I could always just mention one of the BoLS guys by name to drive page views or something.  Well anyway, 58 of you guys decided to participate in the polls and decided that "You guys can all go to hell.  You go to hell and you die"  (37%). 

32% of you thought that everyone rode the short bus to the fight, but only 17% of you guys wanted Pete Rose to put some pants on.  By default that means that 83% of you like Pete Rose's package.

Oh fuck, it looks like one of the actual fight participants got some votes.  Nice job Bramgaunt.  Way to carry a whopping 6% total in the poll.  Better luck next time.

Strictly Interviewed

Brent interviewed me for Blood of Kittens.  It's up, now.  Go check it out.

Male Bonding

I haven't done an album review in a little while.  Truth be told, I haven't been listening to a lot of new music lately.  I recently got the new hyper-limited edition Michael Gira album/DVD whose proceeds go to support the recording of the first SWANS (my all time favorite band ever in all of ever) album due out next year.  It's a solo acoustic album with pretty strict pleas against copyright violation that I will heed- sorry if that piqued your interest.   It also doesn't help that my album rotation while painting Elysians has been a little bit eclectic to say the least.  It has included all of the following:

  1. Gustav Mahler Symphony no. 2
  2. Scott Walker- Scott 4
  3. France Gall- Greatest hits anthology
  4. Dave Dee, Doz.... aww fuck I can't remember the rest- Singles
  5. Sheep on Drugs- Crime Time
  6. Male Bonding- Nothing Hurts
Well of at list only Male Bonding is a recent band, so I'll talk them up a little bit.  Hailing from London England, they are technically considered a punk rock group.  Their first album, "Nothing Hurts," released in 2010 on SubPop records should be a pretty good indication of their sound- a little bit indie rock and a little bit punk rock.

The band seems to be floating around in obscurity a little bit, so not much has been written about them.   It's pretty good stuff, other than slipping into moments of trying to be too much like Vampire Weekend and blending afro pop guitar hooks into songs unnecessarily.  Given the fact that I've already linked to a million different things and have just hit the Burgundy a little hard, I'll just let a few songs speak for themselves.  I think you'll like them.

Thursday, July 22, 2010


I wanted to do something a little bit different today and present a list that I had kicking around in my head about a year ago.  I then committed it to paper and wasn't happy enough with the results to bother putting it together. Fast forward to today and I revisited it to make a few minor tweaks and now I think I have something I'm happy with.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Prepare to be Vanquished

We've all seen this thread.  Somebody asks for help picking the best load out for a Leman Russ.  Before you even read any further into the thread, you already know it's going to be packed to the gills with incredibly bad advice: the main battle tank is awesome, put sponsons on just about anything, lascannons are a great value, and my personal favorite- The Vanquisher is the best tank around. 

Monday, July 19, 2010

Hypocrite of the Week; Project Mayhem

Somebody was kind enough to send me a link to this BoLS article, so that I might witness a the trip into the depths of hell that is the comments section. 

Friday, July 16, 2010

Friday Night Internet Fight, Round 20 Has Gone Live

Well, it was actually up 2 hours ago, but isn't showing up in your blog roll or reading list for some reason.  It's probably because it's too epic to be contained by your inferior computing technology.  Click here to check out the fight or just go back to the main page, where you'll also see it.  The choice is yours, just don't not read it- there are at least 50 new memes just waiting to be created in that fight...

Friday Night Internet Fight, Round 20

Dethtron is back for his triumphant return to Friday Night Internet Fight.  And this time he's brought some friends. 

Friday Night Internet Fight, Round 19 Results Show

Kennedy made a great showing in the FNIF fight that he wrote for us last week.  I'd even seen him described as 'like Dethtron, but civil.'  I'll take that as a compliment :).  So thanks again to Kennedy for snowmobiling some suckas and getting us the real scoop on some legal issues raised in the battle over Tau Online's content*.

The fight itself, was pretty much over before it began.  Just seeing the picture above, I bet you already figured out who won- "10" Rubber Cocks," with 70% of the 51 total votes.  What a landslide.  Fuck, "tub girl," (7%) who was not in the fight, but was recently featured on Tau Online, damn near beat out Jezlad (9%), the only actual participant to garner more than a handful of votes.

Stay tuned for round 20, to come out later today.  While you're trembling with antici                            pation, go over and check out Kennedy's wonderful blog, 40K for the new Profesional.  He's apparently just started a summer law internship and is living at his Grandma's, without the benefit of an Internet connection and surviving only on hard candy.  I'm interested to see the insanity he pumps into his blog from Starbucks as psychosis overtakes him. 

*by which I don't mean dead baby, grandpa porn, or Scheisse pictures.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Soul Doubt

In case up until this point in your day you hadn't seen enough pictures of Roger Daltrey in a tub of Heinz beans, you're welcome.

Almost there

I've gotten a couple of great weeks of painting in on my Elysians after getting the tank painting bug out of my system.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Project Mayhem- Swing and a Miss

Those of you foolishly loyally following this blog will recall that I started project mayhem last week and asked you all to submit applications to BoLS to be a new writer.  The goal was for participants to be complete bastards, posing as somebody already on staff or anything else devious you could think of. 

Friday, July 9, 2010

Friday Night Internet Fight, Round 19

It's Friday and you know what that means- I'm leaving town to go meet Lauby in Champaign to get my drink on at our former University.  It's a special treat that he's going to be around, since he lives like 13 hours drive away.  Woot.  Thankfully Kennedy of 40K for the New Professional was stupid kind enough to answer the call to guest write this week's fight- and it's going to be a hell of a fight. 

Friday Night Internet Fight, Round 18 Results Show

The polls are closed, we've had our laughs for the week and it looks like moral justice has prevailed in Dick Move land.  Our guest author, Lauby, really brought the pain last week and put the hurt on some fools.  Even better, he picked out a fight where one of the most notorious dickheads in the entire Internet gaming community was clearly in the right and not being a huge asshole most of the time.  GWAR!, in fact, managed to bring in 12% of the 65 votes last week.  The real winner of the fight, though, was "I think GWAR! won, but for moral reasons I can't vote for him so I clicked here instead" with 47% of the vote.  So GWAR! both won and didn't win- it's like a quantum state of craziness up in here today.  "Screw the fight and bring back that taco bell chick" also made a pretty good run for the border with 24% of the vote.  She was pretty hawt.  Nobody else came anywhere close, but you guys did start giving random votes for people who were clearly in the wrong again, so good job.  Thanks again to Lauby for dishing it out last week, I enjoyed it thoroughly.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

The Gaming Lexicon

"The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them." -Philip K. Dick

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

The Tau of Sucking

After a series of recent tournament victories and what I can only assume is a rebirth of the golden age of robot suits, the lowly Tau seem to be coming back in popularity.  That's why in my daily dose of pain dealt out by Dakka Dakka my curiosity was peaked when I saw the "Tau In 5th" post that popped up recently.

Blogger Comments Issues

Just a heads up for everybody- Blogger is experiencing issues with its comments system. Most or all comments made in the last 12 or so hours aren't showing up. They may or may not pop back up when and if Blogger gets around to resolving the issue. If they don't come back up, I'll be sure to copy them from my e-mail inbox to get everybody caught up on the latest Dick Move gossip.

Everything is fixed and the missing comments appear to have gone up ok.  I will leave this post up, though, because I love the picture....

Monday, July 5, 2010

Dethtron's Summer Reading List

Summer is basically here for me, since I wasn't able to get into the database management class I was hoping to take for Summer Session 2.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Project Mayhem- Post #150

Oh happy day, Dick Move is 150 posts old.  To celebrate this (un)momentous occasion, I'm adding a new (potentially) recurring series to the blog called "Project Mayhem."

Friday, July 2, 2010

Friday Night Internet Fight Round 18- Laubersheimer Industries Style

As promised, this begins my 2 week hiatus from Friday Night Internet Fight. Fear not, though, as you will be getting some of the finest guest snowmobiling ever seen. This week might really raise the bar. My good friend Lauby of Laubersheimer Industries, who I met at Civil War camp in the summer between 6th and 7th grade- no lie, will be throwing down this week. To keep the author's separate, Lauby will be snowmobiling in a blueish purpley color of his own choosing that I shall dub "boo-berry."

Friday Night Internet Fight Round 17 Results show

Damn, yet another lost fight for me. For you viewers at home keeping score I'm something like 0-5 right now. I guess you just can't compete with Chumbalaya and his animal sex appeal. I'll take home a small moral victory, however, as we hit 100 votes on the head this week, thanks to some new folks tuning in and calling me immature after Brent submitted the thread to YTTH, where Stelek posted a link back to the fight. Well done everybody, and as your reward I'm just going to give vote totals and not percentages- you'll have to figure those out for yourselves and if you can't, now might be a good time to contemplate not breathing anymore or at the very least only stepping into the gene-pool with water wings on.

As you no doubt have deduced by now, Chumbalaya carried the fight in his true east coast Cajun style with a whopping 36 votes. Your humble H., I mean author, came in tied for second with 16 votes each with "Everyone deserves a hug and a participation trophy- let's go sing Kumbaya." I'm sad to report that Not Brent crushed Brent 13-6. Wait a minute....if I add not Brent and count myself as among "Everyone" that changes my score to 16+13+16 = 45 meaning I defeated Chumbalaya. What, you mean he could add the same numbers in as well so still beats me by the same margin...fuck, I'll never win!

I'm frankly shocked by the fact that nobody voted for Zingbaby. You guys have been pretty consistent week over week for collecting a few votes for the biggest retard in the fight. All said and done, at the end of the day my only regret is that Pappy O'Daniel received no votes. Esoteric film references are esoteric.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

These Special Characters are Special

I'll be honest. I've been keeping away from forums a little bit these last few weeks, because they were starting to drive me nuts. The idiocy of the masses combined with a growing sense of malaise and ennui about my life in general was really starting to manifest in me getting meaner rather than funnier. I'm feeling a little better now, so I hit up the retina burning power that is Warseer for some LOLs today. Seriously though- bright white text on a black background really hurts my eyes. Why would anybody choose such a scheme? So please Internet, stop using scheme like this or I will be forced to implement a pink and green scheme here to really put the hurt on.

New Feature Added

I just wanted to let you all know that you can now react to my posts at the bottom of the page.  I'm not sure you'd want to react and why you would have one of the 5 pre-determined reactions that I give you, but it's there if you're interested.  For what it's worth my usual reaction to my posts is an erection....wait, what?

Front Line Assembly- party like it's 1992!

Two album reviews in one week?- I thought this was supposed to be a gaming blog. Well, I just got the new Front Line Assembly album, "Improvised Electronic Device" in the mail. I've given it several listens and have very conflicted feelings towards it. What better time to review it, eh? This also gives me an opportunity to step outside of all of the indie-rock albums I've been reviewing lately. I like that shit a lot, but really I just like music. I'm not a hipster douche-bag, but unfortunately that's where most of the interesting shit is happening in music right now.