GW Acknowledges WAAC Gamers; The First Rule Can Suck My Balls

Yesterday GW's What's New Today Blog, home of a daily dose of pretty pictures and no useful hobby information, acknowledged and possibly defined what a WAAC gamer is.  If you read far enough into the 9/22/10 Throne of Skulls Survival Guide, you would have run into the following after being bored to tears by the most obnoxious survival guide ever:

the temptation to play to win at all cost can overtake the best of us. However, any unscrupulous play will not earn you many friends and may eventually lead to retribution. If you can't swim I'd be extra friendly just to be on the safe side

There you have it, a WAAC player, according to a published GW contributor, is unscrupulous (a cheater) and acts like a dick. There is no mention whatsoever of bringing a good list, playing by the rules as written, or playing a tight, hard game (no homo, not that there's anything wrong with that). So everyone that I've argued with in comments threads, forums, FNIF's, my mind, in person, or whatever can officially fuck off. Invoking the first rule (have fun, or some bullshit) is likely to earn you a swift kick (or maybe a kwik kick) to your shriveled little testicles. Playing a good game with a good list does not make you a WAAC gamer; being a jerkoff and ruining somebody's "fun" does.

The Continuing saga of the DJ

Haven't written since Monday, for which I do apologize.  Basically I have been sleeping since then after what started out as the first really bad seasonal allergy attack I've had in years turned into a wicked summer cold.  Watching the mucus pouring from every orifice on my face slowly turn from clear (allergies) to green and brown (cold) over the last few days has been great.  So, not feeling the energy to blog, I just kept active on a few conversations regarding the would allocation explosion.

U Mad DJ?

Looks like it's two misses in a row for one of the newer BoLS writers.  Here's hoping for a 3rd strike, resulting in him being thrown off the site.  From the man who brought us the tale of chicken little explaining quite erroneously how the new* concept of true line of site is killing warhammer, we get a wonderfully terrible write up of why wound allocation is ruining the game.  Seriously, if there are so many forces conspiring against your ability to enjoy the game, maybe you should just quit.

Hypocrite of the Week; Project Mayhem

Somebody was kind enough to send me a link to this BoLS article, so that I might witness a the trip into the depths of hell that is the comments section. 

Soul Doubt

In case up until this point in your day you hadn't seen enough pictures of Roger Daltrey in a tub of Heinz beans, you're welcome.

The Tau of Sucking

After a series of recent tournament victories and what I can only assume is a rebirth of the golden age of robot suits, the lowly Tau seem to be coming back in popularity.  That's why in my daily dose of pain dealt out by Dakka Dakka my curiosity was peaked when I saw the "Tau In 5th" post that popped up recently.

These Special Characters are Special

I'll be honest. I've been keeping away from forums a little bit these last few weeks, because they were starting to drive me nuts. The idiocy of the masses combined with a growing sense of malaise and ennui about my life in general was really starting to manifest in me getting meaner rather than funnier. I'm feeling a little better now, so I hit up the retina burning power that is Warseer for some LOLs today. Seriously though- bright white text on a black background really hurts my eyes. Why would anybody choose such a scheme? So please Internet, stop using scheme like this or I will be forced to implement a pink and green scheme here to really put the hurt on.

Warhammervierziegtausendnovelle: jetzt noch mehr Mathe!

Every now and then I come across something that completely blows my tiny little mind. I don't mean this in a positive way either; what fun would that be?

Retail Failures

Looks like I can now add Warhammer World to the list of GW stores/events that have personally pissed me off.

Warfare on the High Accountanseas

At long last, I bring to you the other post that nearly became last last week's Internet fight. It's especially funny to me, since I just wrapped up my Managerial accounting class last week. Quite timely, indeed. You may not find this anywhere near as funny as I do, but I really don't care, this is my Blog. It's about me me me me me.

Burn in Hell You Racist Piece of Shit!!!!!!!

If you have the rare and amazing pleasure of knowing me in real life, you know that there isn't really much of anything that I believe in. If you don't know me, well, now you know. For better or worse, I honestly don't really give a shit. One of the (admittedly few) positive side effects of this is that it takes a lot to get me really mad.

igotsmeashitsandwich!!

Today in real non-competitive gaming I ran across this post from igotsmeakebab!! on Bolter and Chainsword. In his thread entitled "In-your-face 1,850pt list, Wha Bam," he has an idea for a Blood Angels list that is so overflowing with epic fail that it just makes me want to vomit exorcist style all over my laptop.

The Reason You're NOT a Game Designer- The Debate Over Saves

Everyone has seen this guy on the Internet. You know him. He's the guy who thinks he can make an uber character or "fix" a rule in an established game system. Every time I look at a homebrew thread I pretty much want to choke the shit out of whoever wrote it. It really just seems like most of the time the people coming up with this bullshit don't have the foggiest idea about the mechanics behind the games they are playing. 9 times out of ten this guy makes something ridiculously over powered or that isn't congruent with the current state of the game system.

...and the leafblower you rode in on!

So I'll let you all in on a little secret: in spite of having a high speed Internet connection since 1999, I've never really had the opportunity to spend too much time on the Internet.

Librarium online debates the IG Heavy Weapons Squad; stupidity ensues

Praetor, a recent IG convert, wants to know what the best load out is for his newly recruited Heavy Weapons Squads (HWS).

Warseer makes me has a sad :(

In a Warseer post entitled "GWS Ironic Balancing Act" Elvinltl rages against the evils of codex creep in a post that ironically contains exactly the same amount of real irony as Alanis Morissette's "Ironic."* Thanks to Lauby for e-mailing me this bit of silliness. Read below to see what happens when an idiot with less than no understanding of how businesses operate attempts to act as a consultant for GW.

Friday Night Internet Fight, Round 5

But wait, didn't round 6 happen last week, how is it now round 5? Yes, yes it did.

You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' nose or Sanguinary Priests?

Ran across a funny/bad discussion on Tabletopwelt.de. Bitte Hier klicken wenn du Deutsch sprechen kannst. Or if you couldn't read that last sentence, I will translate for you.

You're a Veteran all right...of pissing me off

+++warning, serious amounts of caps lock ahead. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED*+++

WTFUCK man, BoLS has let Mr. Footdar himself, Reece "I'm undefeated" Robbins, write for them AGAIN. Just get it over with and make him a permanent fixture of your site so I can stop reading it and move on with my life.

First go read this PILE OF SHIT if you haven't already done so. Then come back. I'll be waiting**.

Well that was painful. Reading that was about as much fun as sticking my dick into a nest full of angry hornets***.

Let's start at the beginning shall we. I've always found that to be a good place to start. Reece, your title has NOTHING to do with your article. Thank you for giving it the title that you did, though, it gave me a lot to go on in titling my own post.

How BoLS Didn't Get its Game Back

Sweet merciful crap! BoLS, take a look at your user comments and adapt. You always praise Privateer Press for listening to their target market- maybe you should do the same. I know that half of your deal now is to make controversial posts that drive user comments which in turn drives your ad revenue, but come the fuck on. By having contributors like Robin fucking Reece you are setting the hobby back years and are going to start losing readers. Maybe you should change your operating model back to giving useful advice.

I swear to god I didn't set out with the mission to rip on BoLS on a daily basis, but they make it so hard not to these days. Especially when they decide to bring Robin back for round 2 of his epic series on failing at life: "Winning with Eldar in 5th Edition Part 2" What's professor Reece have for us today? Mechanized Eldar- great that's hard to fuck up, load up on firedragons, fireprisms, and waveserpents and go to town. Well somehow he figured out how to do it though and gives us a list with 1 big ass firedragon squad, some howling banshees, striking scorpions (wtfuck man?), and a bunch of jetbikes. Well at least there are 3 fire prisms in there right. Check it out. It's incredibad.

So, his list writing is shit. Maybe his tactical advice is better. HA- it's not. Favorite quote:

The first thing to consider when making a list in 5th edition in my opinion
is always the same: how will I win games?

....and the first question I have for you is: how the fuck do you win games?

Well Robin, thanks for not explaining how the hell your firedragons are going to live long enough to take out heavy armor. Oh you couldn't explain it because they won't. Thanks for not explaining how this army can even deal with heavy armor- fireprisms and a lone firedragon squad are not the answer. If I were using this list and somebody plopped down a pair of land raiders, I would run to the hills. He also doesn't bother to explain how his unsupported jetbikes are going to make it through the game to hold an objective other than making sure you tank shock threats out of their way or hide them. He can't even explain the tactical decision that lead him to take 2 close combat aspect squads or how he intends to use them. All the real tactical advice he gives on that front is to use your prisms to pop transports (but wait didn't you say your prisms were going after heavy targets...oh no) and charge your aspect warriors in. Why bother doing that if you could stay out of harms way and shoot them?

There is a useful nugget of info buried in there about target saturation being a good thing. It is, unfortunately you don't have any. To succeed at target saturation you would really need to have more skimmers and more redundant units, by which I mean 3 smaller units of firedragons. As it stands now, he presents nothing but obvious, easy to deal with targets. Robin, do yourself a favor and learn some sound tactics and focus on your lists before you present yourself as a scholar of 40k. If you're going to present a fluff army, state that it is. Don't masquerade some clusterfuck of a list as a competetive entry, that is just embarassing.