" a piss ant blog" -Rikimaru

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"I cannot bring myself to actually read this drivel"- anonymous

"pox riddled post coital stain of a blog"- anonymous

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

...and the leafblower you rode in on!

So I'll let you all in on a little secret: in spite of having a high speed Internet connection since 1999, I've never really had the opportunity to spend too much time on the Internet.
Due to a 60-70 hour work schedule, it was only recently, when I went to a 0 hour work schedule and part time school, that I've had ample time to dick around with the Intertubes. As such, I've come to the party late on just about everything from various memes to competitive gaming sites. You may have noticed that I just kind of materialized out of thin air at some point last summer and became a semi active member of the 40k community online. That's just about how it happened. As I've wondered before, I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing. But, my point is that I lived in a bubble for a long time. I played my own brand of 40k with like minded, and no less busy, friends whenever we could grab people away from jobs and families long enough for a game. Even when I was oblivious to sound tactics and competitive list building, do you know what army I wanted to play? Fucking mechanized Imperial Guard...even before it was viewed as any good.

Let's rewind a little shall we. I started playing a little during 2nd edition. I really wanted to play IG back then, because tanks are kick ass. Unfortunately, while kick ass, they are also quite expensive. Needless to say that didn't work out on my teenage budget and I settled on Eldar and built some hodgepodge army that probably didn't make any sense. I carried these over briefly into 3rd edition, but ultimately threw in the towel on gaming altogether when I got wrapped up in college and moved away from my friends. Then 4-5 years ago I was visiting my pal John, who was in my original gaming group, and saw some Warmachine minis and books at his place and was bit by the bug again. To stop from rambling, I played Warmachine for a while and suckered a few friends into Chicago to joining with me, though we ultimately got sucked back into 40k as it's just a much better system.

This brings me to 4th edition 40k, pretty close to the end of it's cycle. I think I only got in about a dozen games after I had gotten all my stuff assembled and mostly painted before 5th edition rolled out. Being a working adult this time around, I had the resources to do it right this time (barring a misstep with Dark Angels), so I immediately scooped up as many IG tanks and vehicles as I could- now counting super heavies and such I believe I have around 12,000 points of guard, not counting a 2,000 point Elysian airborne force in progress. So even in 4th edition, where vehicles didn't have a god-like status, I played them, because that's what I enjoy- big ass tanks. When 5th edition came out I stuck with my guard, even with a codex that really put the hurt on some of my dreams. I was saddened by some of the changes to defensive weapons and ordnance. It wasn't possible to move my Russes and still shoot a battle cannon and 3 heavy bolters any more. Sad times.

Then the 5th edition codex is released and I can finally play the army I wanted- fully mechanised IG. As an added bonus I would later find out through playing friends that this was a very tough build to deal with. Later on when I began to check out sites like Yes The Truth Hurts periodically (but not BoLS, oddly enough...), I began to tweak and streamline my lists, while still keeping them my own. I've now got it whittled down to something vaguely similar to the so called "leafblower."

What does all of that have to do with anything? Well, when people like Darkwynn post something like this on BoLS I get a little fucking mad. First things first, how big does your god damn ego have to be to write something like that in the first place? -Dethtron, imma let you finish, but Darkwynn is the greatest player of all time- Humble he certainly is not. He's basically trying to say that he invented mech guard and that everyone is copying him, making him alone responsible for "ruining 40k." Second, you're completely shitting on people like me who are simply playing the style of IG that we've always wanted to, but never been able to, due to older rules sets.

There are lots of things that I don't even like about the Darkwynn version of Mech IG. The name "leafblower" is just plain stupid. What it's supposed to blow your opponent off the table on the first turn? Well, while you're busy blowing your opponents, I'll worry about other things, like players that are smart enough to play the reserve game against me. Just in case the name wasn't mind-bogglingly dumb enough, he has plasma in his list. Take that shit back to 2006 and bury it please. When you come back to our time, get yourself some meltas and step into the world of 5th edition.

I'd also like to point out that assuming that this, or any list, is unbeatable is further evidence of a "sky is falling" mentality prevalent among a good chunk of the gaming community these days. A good player with a good list will usually beat a bad player with a good list. So dear gamers, don't just focus on your list, focus on not playing a shitty, sloppy game. Your list is only half of the equation.

He goes on to even attack fellow guard players by saying that we have to have a "super inflated ego" to continue to play these lists. Since when is playing a competitive build or list that you're passionate about automatically connected to you ego? I don't like crushing defeats. That's not fun for anybody. I have the most fun on those occasions that I've paid for the whole seat but only used the edge. Close games are awesome. This is just another example of the BoLS staff and most of the rest of the world not being able to separate the WAAC gamer from the competitive player. I'm slowly evolving into a better player and getting a little bit of a competitive itch, but don't consider myself a competitive player. I just like a good game, with tough builds and tough opponents.

People like Darkwynn would probably look at my list and say 'durr you're just copying my leafblower list, because you are a megalomaniac who is focused entirely on winning.' To which I would reply 'go fuck yourself, I came up with this list a long time ago and well before I had heard anything about this "leafblower" bullshit that you keep talking about.' I'm not trying to say that I started this list, but simply trying to show that assuming everyone is copying you is just plain egotistical and wrong. I would bet that a lot of people had similar ideas at around the time the new codex came out.

But what about the fluff- you're just spamming chimera chassis? Fuck that. I'm getting sick of people claiming that fluff has to involve taking a shit army. Especially since that's about as far from fluffy as you can get. Real military forces build redundancy and versatility into their forces. Giving everyone a transport and not having an army that relies solely on one unit to achieve victory is perfectly fluffly.

So basically what Darkwynn is saying to players, like me, is that our opinions are wrong. The ideas that I have for the way I enjoy playing aren't correct, because they happen to be competitive. It's clearly not OK to want to win a competitive game or event or against friends in the basement or at the store. Well fuck you and the leafblower you rode in on buddy.


Mobious said...

I feel ya brotha!!

It just bothers me when Darkwynn and 90% f the BoLS crowd act like "Leafblower" is the strongest list to ever hit a 40k table. It is a good list of course, but it is not even optimized.

And then it is just annoying to hear everyone label any Chimera based Guard list as "Leafblower". The self-righteousness of this hobby gets to me sometimes.

Chumbalaya said...

God damn that was the most annoying article I had read to date, until I saw Reecius's new crock of shit boiling over.

Fuck me, just thinking about it gets me angry.

Dethtron said...

I hate to say it, but the Reece article wasn't so bad :( I was actually planning on not reading it, but my low willpower score got the better of me. he does promote footdar again, though, so that made lol out loud at the end :)

Roland Durendal said...

Apparently since I play Aircav Guard (in addition to my something like 4000 points of IA3 Elysians...and soon to be IA8 Elysians!), I'm somehow a dirty powergamer who cars only about myself and winning?

Darkwynn's article and all that sycophantic crowing from his fan base sickened me. Ugh.

DFM said...

My question is this.

Why do you people continue to subject yourselves to reading this shit?

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Interesting, my own story back into 40k is incredibly similar to your own! Mine just lacks the blog and the humour!

That aside, nice post about a crock of sh*t that we've come to expect from some of these sites. I know not all of it is bad, but unfortunately the majority is. It is a massive shame, as a huge part of the community goes straight to them, laps it up - mainly the list itself - attempts to use it, fails badly due to lack of understanding and loses heart.

I forgot to mention your comment on the R-P-S terminology the other day and the leafblower comment reminded me. Who on Earth comes out with these terms? They just seem completely non-sensical to me.

Kirby said...

Low willpower score? What scale is that Dethtron =D?

I read this article last night and was wondering why you hadn't commented or posted anything. Guess you were alseep. Catch up!

Give him credit for inventing a sub-par IG list and getting a ton of people to play it and think it's great. And for being a douche.

kennedy said...

Dude... are you my fucking clone? Seriously, except for the focus on IG, your "getting into 40k" story is almost a carbon copy of mine... Maybe that's why you and I both have awesome taste in music.

Also, definitely agree, Darkwynn et al are a bunch of self-aggrandizing asses.

The_King_Elessar said...

My origin story is similar, it can be found in Marvel Origins 3... One day, I'll reprint it in paperback.

DFM said...

Wow, your story of entering the hobby is so different than mine.

I got my intro into the game from a friend before we found out he was molesting his step-daughter. His (Future)ex-wife called me and told me to come pick up all his shit that i wanted, it was going in the garbage if i didn't want it. I didn't know what the rules for space marines were, but I knew the dark angels fluff was awesome and that hooked me.

Dethtron said...

well...that's just awful....:(

Anonymous said...

Holy Frecking shit - your starting out in the hobby is also the same as mine!

As for the Blower - I mean wtf - My ideal list has always been mechanized Guard (steel legion or cadian specifically) even back when we had shitty chimera's who's sole redeeming rule (amphibious) never came into play. Now this ass-hat comes along and all of a sudden it's the second coming of jesus.

I mean - how could they say this guy has balls for "owning up to creating such a overpowered list" - I mean christ, he didn't invent mech guard.

meh - you know what, fuck this..

Anonymous said...

Forgot to say, that picture is just superb!

Jerseyboy381 said...

You mentioned fluff. What's not fluffy about soldiers in APC's with heavy armor support? I'm building a mostly mech guard list that I wrote the first time I read the IG dex. It has not changed since then and I still think it will be fun and potentially deadly.

My toughest army I have is very fluffy. It's also a punch-you-in-the-face list. I run pure Nurgle CSM's 7 man plague marine squads, a Defiler, prince with Mark of Nurgle and warptime... The list is nasty, but I can also play it well and that's why its powerful.

Anonymous said...

I'm just wondering what would happen if some of the fawning sycophants on BoLS got a link to this blog. I think their heads would asplode at the sheer amount of negative BoLS mojo. The sheer amount of stupid emanating from that blog can be felt within a six-mile radius and that post is at the center of it.

Dethtron said...

@loring: Yeah, I'm a huge fan of that picture too. I'm not sure, in hindsight, what it has to do with this topic, though.... so we'll just say it's a metaphor for life ;)