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Friday, March 5, 2010

Friday Night Internet Fight Round 1

Well boys and girls, Friday has come and with it what I hope will become a regular feature over here at “Dick Move”- Friday Night Internet Fight! Internet fights are hilarious. Watching two anonymous people whip their junk out and fight each other in cyberspace is just too damn funny in its futility. In this column, I’ll be digging up the nastiest or most amusing fight that I can find in a wargaming forum, and putting it on display for all to see. Hell, maybe I’ll even start a fight or two or answer your hate mail. At the end of the article, after my own witty commentary, I’ll put a poll up letting you, the reader, decide who, if anyone, wins the internet.

In Reece Robbins’ guest article ”40k Tactics: Winning with Eldar- Foot Edition”, we are introduced to the most competitive Eldar list I have ever seen and shown definitively that Mech is not King in 5th ed 40k. Oh wait, that isn’t what happened…hilarity ensued…hell yeah! If you are living under a rock and didn’t happen to catch the article, let me spare you the torture and sum it up in a one sentence executive summary. ‘Hi my name is Robin and I claim to be an experienced gamer who never loses in a competitive environment, so check out my winning build that just might be the least competitive thing that most of you have ever seen that I win with all the time.’ For fuck’s sake, I don’t know who to feel worse for, Robin for believing in himself or the readers that seemed to take this article to heart. Anyway, some of you have asked why I didn’t immediately rush out and give this article my official mushroom stamp of approval when it got published. The answer: it’s too obvious. If you read this monstrosity and thought it was a good idea, I truly pity you. For those of us who know better, you don’t need my crackpot, lurking ass to tell you what you already know. Moreover, if this whole blog just consists of me trolling every single BoLS post, it isn’t going to be a very interesting ride.
Ahh, but I digress. While I didn’t comment on the article itself, for the previously stated reasons, I managed to wade my way through the 200 plus comments for the post, and find this gem. Here we have a nice fight between Metalstorm and dude, with special cameo appearances (spoiler alter, it’s just some random guys). The names have not been changed to protect the innocent, but I have changed their avatars for my own amusement. If I have something to interject into the conversation, it’ll show up in red.


I love how we finally get a long and insightful look at an unconventional ~Except that lots of people out there run shitty foot eldar because they are stupid or can’t afford 50 grav tanks~ way to approach an army like Eldar and people immediately jump to tear it apart. I for one was getting VERY sick of seeing nothing but min/max power gamer lists getting posted on here and I find this to be a big breath of fresh air. ~BoLS Min/Max? When has that happened exactly?

I would like to see articles this long written about other 3rd and 4th edition armies that are struggling to survive in 5th edition. (Necrons much?)

Obiviously this list has issues with mech~Duh, Obiviously~....but who doesn't besides melta-spam players~Hmm I don’ know, maybe fuckin’ Tyranids and anybody with an autocannon or god damn Eldar players that are smart enough to bring a good mix of weapons to the party~. As long as those Wraithlords deploy 12" in, they shouldnt have any problem reaching tanks with lances in turn 1 and 2. Maybe the Mech players and the Melta players should go and play somewhere else so the rest of us can enjoy 40k.

People on this forum needs to be alot more open minded to stuff like this. Even if this list isn't super competitive...it looks fun~no, it isn’t and it doesn’t~. I would love to play against more armies like this, and not because I think it would be an easy win.

Anyway, more in depth looks at unconventional army builds please BOLS!

If you think BOLS posts min/max power lists than you very uneducated. ~Friday Night Internet Fight Club rule 1- don’t talk about Friday Night Internet Fight Club. Rule 2- if you’re going to call someone uneducated, check your fucking grammar!~ I'm glad the fluff bunnies have an article to make them feel superior, but an article on actual tactics this is not.


I'm going to make a few points here.

1. I find it adorable that you said "you very uneducated."~You call it adorable; I call it a sign of the downfall of western society caused by failing educational systems.

2. I'm guessing you would never bring a list to a game that you know would likely lose, because losing isn't fun, winning is fun, the future is war. 40k after all is a super serious game.

3. I was simply trying to point out how everytime an article gets posted with a list in it like this, a pack of wolves always jumps on to tear it apart and generally misses the whole point of the article. In this case, "how to run foot eldar."~Fun fact, metalstorm- the whole point of this article was to make a competitive Eldar army. Mission not accomplished.

4. You probably drive an F350 with a pair of balls on your hitch? ~Zing?

PLEASE tell other people how to have fun or what fun is PLEASE! ~Man, you totally missed a golden opportunity to make an awful comparison of metalstorm to the Nazis, thanks for not doing that.


1. thanks my mother feels the same way ~que?

2. I played WH for a year and lost more games than I won. Now i play CSM and fair slightly better. ~yeah, probably with an emphasis on the slightly, way to pick a winning codex, dude.

3. That's not the title. It's called "Winning with Eldar". I don't feel this is a way to win. Winning is fun, but not at the expense of your opponent. My three trophies for best sportsman can attest to that. ~Apparently waving your dick around is also fun

4. No I drive tiny little Hyundai accent around Philadelphia ~Yeah, that’ll show him…

I find bragging about your sportsmanship trophies to be a hilarious paradox ~Thank god we get some kind of epiphany at the end as Gob points out this super irony.

Well, that’s our first fight. Sound off in the polls and let us know who you think the winner is.

Also, if you participated in an internet fight, send me a link and I’ll see if you’re worthy of making next week’s round of Friday Night Internet Fight.


Ishamael said...

I happened to be one of the naysayers on that festival of model mediocrity, and this gives me a new goal every week: get into a fight (read: homework), and hope I can win with a left hook.

Chumbalaya said...

I liked the bit about how all the melta players should just go away and let us enjoy 40k how it's supposed to be.

I <3 scrubs

Anonymous said...

This is a hard one. kaptainscuzgob did get last word, but what he said was lamesauce.

I'd say nobody won. That is unless they were all simultaneously hit by a car, then it'd be society.

Justin said...

I'd say no matter what, we all lost...