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Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The day I lost all interest in Planetstrike

I've already gone on record railing against GW's constant stream of shit rules supplements over the last few years. This is a case of trying to do too much too quickly. While I was pretending to study for marketing earlier (50 questions 15 minutes, first one done, and already graded= 96%...) I got hooked in by a BoLS article about combos used to defeat guard. Now, this article is pretty bland and leads to list tailoring (read: cheating), but I decided to throw in my two cents and throw a combo* of my own into the ring. I decided to make it a more generalist combo, though, that will work against anybody. Way to be on topic, self.

Said combo is completely mean and unnecessary and I'm glad that the friend I pulled it on didn't punch me in the face. This is yet another reason that I enjoy playing against friends rather than random kids at the FLGS. My buddies tend to have a better sense of humor about shenanigans. Now, you're going to read the following and think, wow Dethtron, you are totally trying to pwn noobs, this won't work against veteran players. Well, you're wrong, and I'll tell you why after the break.

Here's the thread:

Dethtron- For planetstrike Pair a DH Inquisitor w/ 2x mystics w/ anything when you are defender and watch your opponent cry.

The last, and probably last ever, time I played planet strike I placed my inquisitor right next to an executioner squadron when playing against CSM. I also used a terrain setup and strategems that all but forced my opponent to DS within 9-12" of my combo and watched the incoming marines melt

spiderglow- Hi, can you explain me how does this combo works?. Do you use auspex? I run witchhunters and would like to check if I can use this combo.

Dethtron- my original reply seems to have disappeared into the aether, so here's another one:

This combo won't work with WH, as the mystics are the key. Here's what you need to make this mean:
-set up your objectives/bastions all on a short edge of the board. Line both long edges with impassible terrain that would stop transports, footsloggers and other vehicles from coming on close to you.
-clutter the midfield with with terrain to prohibit midfield deepstrikes
-leave a sweet zone 9-12" away from your inquisitor where opponent can deepstrike . leave another zone on the opposite short board edge, where your opponent may deep strike or come on normally.
-load up on barrage weapons/long range firepower

when you have the mystics w/ inqisitor, he can tell any unit within 12" of him to fire at an enemy who deepstrikes within 4d6" of him (expected value is 14"). if he happens to be standing by a pair of leman russ executioners, your enemy will have to eat 10 plasma cannon shots EVERY time he deepstrikes near you. If he doesn't deep strike, he has to slog across the field the whole game and through a "bog of terrain" that you have created in the midfield. He must either deep strike into his certain doom or be forced to run across the whole field, getting shot to pieces by your abundant long range fire the entire game.

This can be pulled off in non-guard allied forces as well, just plop anything heavy hitting (from devastators to typhoon speeder squadrons to exorcists) by the inquisitor and watch the bodies fly.

Remember when I said this isn't just about pwning N00bs with an obvious trick? Here's why- nobody is going to fall for the deepstrike trick more than once, unless they are dumb as shit. They are, however, completely fucked whether or not they deepstrike, because deploying all the wy across the board is a shitty option as well. So the combo isn't really the important thing, the threat of the combo is, and by giving your opponent the choice of a shit situation or a shittier one, you've pulled quite the dick move.

....and that was the day that I lost interest in Planetstrike. After a handful of games (and almost $300 in new terrain), it became the least fun thing in the universe to play. This is so ridiculously geared towards defending that I don't enjoy attacking or defending. That firestorm shit, doesn't make up for all he free cover you an weapons get along with the ability to tailor the board to your own sadistic whim as a defender. Hint for surviving the firestorm- if you're guard take trenches and go to ground the first turn. You get a ridiculous cover save for all your models and your officers can order everybody back into the fight for the beginning of the game. Last time I played, I lost 1 fucking guardsman with a lasgun to the opening barrage.

I really wanted to enjoy Planetstrike, but it just fell short of all of my expectations. Fluff is fun, but not when it involves ass-raping 1 player every time you play. That's not what I call fun.

Full disclosure, I wound up fucking up my terrain placement when I pulled this and there was a tiny sliver left on a long board edge where my opponent was able to deploy, losing me a manticore for my efforts. I still won, though. It just wasn't the bloodbath it should have been. The combo is still sound, however.

*those that know me know of my love for combos, especially the pizza flavored ones.


The Lord of Excess said...

I hear what your saying about planetstrike and really don't have a comment either way on the combo. What I will say is I think playing any apocalypse type games with random people would usually turn out bad. I like that GW has tried to focus more on giving people who mostly game with friends at home some more options via the apocalypse stuff. Whenever we play those types of games we all sit down and work out the most balanced forces and scenarios we can ... so we ALL have an enjoyable game and who will win isn't a forgone conclusion (I know that is crazy talk by BoLS standards). I just like the option of adding some of the stratagems to home grown scenario games, etc. FLGS are dead to me in general ... I am so tired of watching 30 year old douchbags beat the shit out of poor 16 year olds .. and seeing the 16 year olds either morph into jackasses as a result ... or just quit before they ever really get going. Its sad but that has been my experience over the past several years ... I miss the halcyon days of yor when balanced lists and games were something people strived for. For me anyway that only lives in my home games ... :(

Chumbalaya said...

GW's 0 for 4 on the expansions, with no sign of stopping.

Justin said...

At least the Battle Missions book doesn't require a whole lot of new rules...

Although some of the missions are f-in ridiculous GW sales pitches *cough* SM Thunderhawk mission *cough*

At least the books have some pretty good fluff (and if you're not into the fluff, oh well). Otherwise they'd be completely worthless.

The_King_Elessar said...

40k Expansions only fit narrative play - and both players writing their lists together, not trying to outghey each other with monies.

The_King_Elessar said...

That's why they don't sell, and are largely crap - those kinds of players don't need GW rules, they can make up their own. And their own probably work better for them...