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Thursday, June 3, 2010

From the Warp

There has been a recurring theme in the comments to my recent gloating about spending too much money and having some great FW customer service: warped parts. If you've ever gotten a FW kit you'll know what I'm talking about.

Is it too much to ask for straight pieces when we're paying exorbitant amounts of money for their kits? Quality control people, what happened to it.

The vast majority of you that commented have had overwhelmingly good experiences getting warped parts replaced. Well those of you that aren't in America have at least. There must be some greater conspiracy to fuck over us yanks, because I can think of a handful of really bad experiences that my friends and I here have had with FW customer service. I have moaned long and hard about my difficulties in getting into contact with FW customer service and the general ineptitude of the Chicago Bunker staff (I know they aren't FW per se, but they sell and should support FW products...news flash, their support sucks dick).

Here's another anecdote about a friend of mine, Hoagy, getting screwed over warped parts. Now he can chime in if he wants about more specifics, but this is the basic story as I recall it. He picked up a repressor recently and discovered that it had a severely warped top panel when he got home. Not just a little warped, we're talking "tanks by Hundertwasser" here. Naturally he was a little miffed by the situation and got into contact with FW to talk about the issue. Their reply went something like this: "oi Hoagy can your dick touch your asshole?" "sure" "well then go FUCK YOURSELF." Ok, well their reply was a little bit more like 'have you tried boiling it to reshape it?' Yeah no shit, but this thing was seriously warped, like bad, I saw it before he was able to "fix" the issue, which involved a ton of effort. Hell, as I recall they even advised him to somehow cast a new part himself using green stuff. Bottom line is he was not once offered a replacement part or even a "sorry." Shit, they didn't even really take accountability for the issue and treated it more like it was Hoagy's problem than theirs. Maybe they're shitting on him because he is living outside of the UK by choice. Who knows?

So how is it that we yanks are getting such bad service and you foreign devils are getting such great interactions? I'm sorry that you couldn't quell our puny rebellion... global conspiracy I say.


Hoagy said...

Ah yes, twas a dark time for the Imperium >sits back in chair gazing wistfully into the aether puffing on a pipe<

Basically my mom was good enough to buy me a ton of stuff from FW as a christmas gift. Included in this was a repressor and some extra armor pieces for a rhino. After the holiday festivities had ended and the dust had settled a little bit, I decided to put together my repressor and also a rhino for my sisters with the extra armor and some FW =][= iconography. I dutifully dumped it all in warm soapy water and let it soak for a half hour before scrubbing the pieces with an old toothbrush to get in all the corners to remove and releasing agent. I noticed that there was quite a lot of flash and lugs that needed trimming, no big deal. It wasn't until I had cleaned it all up and was test fitting the pices on both the vehicles that I found out they were all warped to fuck. I mean, i'm not talking about a little off here, were talking banana fucking city! Now, I like to think of myself as an experienced modeller, not only from years of GW stuff, but also resin garage kits and whatnot, so i've covered most bases when it comes to model/kit building. So I tried blasting the pieces with a hairdryer to warm it up enough to bend it back, with no success. It wasn't even a case of being able to fudge it with GS either, this shit was so off the mark. That was just the extra armor! The Repressor, while being pretty darn sweet, and a lot of fun to use on the field, is almost as much of a pain in the balls to assemble as their equally wonderful Exorcist kit with the pipe organ.The only difference being that there are no retardedly fucked up metal pieces.

Not only were the pieces warped to buggery, but they did'nt even fit where they were supposed to! The extra piece that sits on the top, giving you the extra fire points, was bowed in on each side, and it had obviously shrunk too, as it did not sit flush with the rest of the roof anywhere. the hole in the top was too small to accomodate the hatch lid, and even the other bloody hole that was the mounting for the pivoting storm bolter housing was too small! Argh! At this point I wanted to hurl the fucking thing at the wall, but I soldiered on. I did get it together in the end, but I am going to still have to do a considerable amount of GSing on it. I get that its a 'model' and that you have to put it together, but reconstructing the fecking thing? come on! this shit aint cheap, I would expect to do flash cleanup and not much else.

Anyhoo, when I called FW direct in the UK, I got through to some chap and explained to him about the issues I was having, mainly with the extra armor pieces. The response I got was to put the pieces into boiling, not hot, but boiling water for about 15 minutes and to hold the pieces with something while submerged to get it back into shape. So, after hiding my disbelief and hanging up, totally unsatisfied at just how much I had to do, I did it, and it did work, eventually (water doesn't stay that hot for that long, right?). Once I eventually got the pieces on, I found out that the holes for the STANDARD PLASTIC DOORS from the rhino kit were too small to accommodate them, so I had to shave off layers from each side.

All in all its been a pain in the ass, and more modelling that should be required, and certainly not for novices.

Dethtron said...

well now that you got that off your chest, tell us how you really feel :)

Hoagy said...

Pretty good now :)

DFM said...

At least you fuckers didn't buy a midget terminator captain.

Kirby said...

Oi get out Dethtron. I'm the psychologist of us all, you stick to finances I'll stick to making people feel better.

So I'm hearing a lot of angry Hoagy because FW sold you a bad parts and wouldn't replacement. Yes I can see how that would make you angry.

Empathy 101. Now if only I really cared... =D

Paul said...

Hey, Dethron asked, I delivered :)