Project Mayhem- Post #150

Oh happy day, Dick Move is 150 posts old.  To celebrate this (un)momentous occasion, I'm adding a new (potentially) recurring series to the blog called "Project Mayhem."
Throughout the life of Dick Move, I've striven (is that really a word?) to be as abrasive and belligerent as possible in everything that I do.  Well that was the goal I set out with anyway.  I feel like I have failed myself in that respect and have not created the level of entropic insanity that I'd intended to when I struck out into the blogosphere with just my bindle full of hate. 

The time has come to change that, and I need your help!  That means you- yes you!  I am officially unveiling an idea that I've had floating around in the back of my brain for a while: "Project Mayhem."  The goal of project mayhem is to create havoc and fuck with the system, the man, the Borg, Victor Borge, or whatever it is that has you mad.  Yes, punk as fuck!  Here listen to this:



Great, now you'll be in the spirit.  So what is Project Mayhem?  It's exactly what it sounds like- mayhem.  As golden opportunities arise I will hold contests to see who can wreak the greatest amount of havoc on the establishment.  You'll get an assignment and be expected to e-mail me the results.  I will then publish the most amusing things that come in.  Like picking fights?  Like fucking with people for no good reason?  This is your time to shine.

This week, BoLS has staged an open cattle call for new writers.  Time to make them regret that decision.  I want you to apply.  Just follow the directions from the link provided.  Then blind carbon copy (Bcc) me on your application e-mail so that I know you actually applied.  My E-mail address is sodoffdethtron@gmail.com Your only job is to make it amusing for everyone. 

You'll get bonus points if you claim to be someone from the BoLS staff, pose as a known troll, are actually Stelek, or somehow manage to actually get hired on with a ludicrous application.  I'm sure you guys won't disappoint and I'm looking forward to some good stuff coming in.  I'll post the best of the best next weekend once I've gotten all the submissions read.

by way of example, here is my application.  I know you guys can do better, so get cracking...

Name:


Colin

-Avatar or Forum Name:

BigRead

-Location and Time Zone:

Illinois; Central

-Age:
29

-Days and Times Available to post Content:

Full Time Availability

-E-mail:

withheld for anonymity's sake, since I used my personal E-mail

-Instant Messaging Name and Protocol (MSN, AIM, etc.):

jchrist2311 (AIM) ~that's actually really my Aim handle, but you're not likely to ever find me on there.

-Tell us about any previous writing experience. Do you have your own blog? Worked for a paper? If you have no previous writing or editing experience, tell us why you are perfect for this spot?

 I have a dearth of blogging experience.  You may recognize my work as editor in chief of BoLS.

-Writing a "beat" is never an easy task. What qualities do you think a "BoLS Correspondent" needs to possess?

As writer of Michael Jackson's Hit "Beat It,"  I have plenty of experience writing beats.
A drive towards mediocrity, lax editing standards, and a penchant for making inflammatory statements to drive page views are all intrinsic to being a good BoLS correspondent.

-What sources do you generally use to get the latest news about Wargames? What RSS feeds have you subscribed to?

GW.com's "What's New Today" blog series and telepathic information transmitted by VALIS

-How would you typify your attitude or "style" as a writer?

Comically angry.

-Tell us why you want to be a contributor for BoLS.

I feel that as a contributing news correspondent, I would be able to bring a complete lack of journalistic integrity to the table. A string of racially, sexually, and otherwise offensive remarks from me would be sure to get page views up to record highs.

-What game systems do you play (WFB,WM,FoW)?

Warhammer 40k