" a piss ant blog" -Rikimaru

"Dethtron, you are...an asshole" - 38% of Dick Move Readers

" I probably won't read unless I'm bored as shit at work" - A. Hack

"I cannot bring myself to actually read this drivel"- anonymous

"pox riddled post coital stain of a blog"- anonymous

Friday, July 9, 2010

Friday Night Internet Fight, Round 19

It's Friday and you know what that means- I'm leaving town to go meet Lauby in Champaign to get my drink on at our former University.  It's a special treat that he's going to be around, since he lives like 13 hours drive away.  Woot.  Thankfully Kennedy of 40K for the New Professional was stupid kind enough to answer the call to guest write this week's fight- and it's going to be a hell of a fight. 

We had talked about him writing one of these for me over the last few months, because I frankly dig his style, and once Darknite e-mailed me a link to the Heresy-Online post in question, I knew that Kennedy, being a law school student, was the man for the job.  Plus the fight is about the Seven Mile Island situation unfolding at Tau Online, which I wanted to cover, but feel like I've seen enough old man penis, skinned babies, and diarrhea fountains for this lifetime.  I'm not even going to link it- odds are you have already seen it or can find it with minimal effort.  So sit back, relax, and prepare to feel the stupid flow over you.  I'll be back with something extra special for next to mark my return, so until then, here's the ever hilarious Kennedy...

Howdy, Kennedy here! Dethtron has asked me to be your guide to this week's retard fest (he's
going to be off to Boner City, from what I understand... although where Boner City is or what one does
there is beyond my purview). And what a super stupid ultra retard fest it is!
What we have here is almost like a (dare I say it?) meta Internet fight (oh gods, I've
coined a new term). We have the owner of Tau Online pissing off seemingly everyone on his forum followed by Jezlad of Heresy Online pissing off seemingly everybody else by talking about it. While I would have loved to go through the Tau Online posts, they contained a bit much insanity for me, what with all the cursing in the Tau language and all. Instead, I chose to focus on the trials and tribulations of Jezlad as he stirs up shit like he's got a big ol' shit-stirring spoon. After all, here we get people who know fuck all about law and business spewing a lot of bullshit around the edges of a fairly amusing fight.
When Dethtron pointed me to this fight and said "Sic 'em, Kennedy! Go, go boy! Bite their
leg! That's it! Yeah, now lick 'em a little. Yeah, gentle like..." I thought that I needed to understand
the underlying happenings here. Well, no, I did not. Especially since neither did any of the posters
who came to bitch after Jezlad made fun of the whole situation (and called all the people at Heresy
Online "the absolute dog bollocks").
You do need two pieces of information, however. The owner of Tau Online is known as
either Skylight or Neon, and does not appear here. The former mods of Tau Online opened up a new
forum called Second Sphere, using all of the data from Tau Online, which they stole. Exciting stuff,
really. Unfortunately for everyone, no one involved has even the slightest idea what they're talking
So, while this would be a great opportunity for me to be like "This is wrong because of
this reason and this reason," I can't because it's all too fucked. Thus, instead of trying to do anything
constructive or instructive, I decided on destructive. So, to that end, I starved myself and ingested some
meth to help in the snowmobiling process. Also, because this came from blog comments and some
people posted under two names (Jezlad, I'm looking at you), I pretty much completely restructured the
whole thing so it made some sense. Alright, now that I've set the scene, let's raise the curtains and fight!

Jezlad- The facts are clear.
Admin A sells website to admin B for undisclosed fee. Clear enough, so far. I think. Why are we using letters? We know all these fuckers names, right?

Admin B adds 1 banner to the site.
Moderator A, B and C Oh god, he's given
them a letter and taken away their names!
complain and threaten to contact GW legal.
Admin B sacks mods through fear of irrepairable damage to the database by mods.
Mods and users proceed to launch childish attack on forum.
Thats the facts. Facts = retards. Hmm... This is why wordmath fails. I'm not quite sure how facts and retards
are equal... Maybe if I engage in some numerology... Oh wait. Facts and retards aren't the same, moron!

Tsswitch- Really? Nope,
not really.
"Retards"? Psych! Aw,
man, I had you going.

12 year olds can post news on HO? They can also call themselves "Tsswitch" and contribute nothing to a fight.

Chapter Master Seth- I've come to expect more from this upstanding
website than calling other ones retards this
is the Internet, you obviously expected too much
without knowing half of the facts and then
passing it off as news to all of the people who follow your news feed. With respect, Jezlad, I'd try to
be a little less hasty I'd try to pick a fight,
Jezlad obviously prefers my approach
with the names and perhaps post the full story which is linked just a few comments below, rather than the obviously NSFW oh noes! Tau cursing is "not safe for work"? Dear god, the taumanity! outrage created by members who lost both their friends and their moderators to a very strange profit focused is strange? website owner.

Jezlad- More like, ooh! Get ready! It's a fight within a fight! So Shakespearean!
Skylight started putting more ads on the site, and moderators told him "this site is based on Games Workshops intellectual property, and they might shut
us down if it is making a profit." Incorrect,
but let's go ahead and see if you say anything worthwhile... Oh wait. I know you don't.

He replied essentially "I don't give a crap. i bought the site to make money."
Moderators said "well, we'd really like to NOT see the site shut down, can we buy it off you so you make money?" Begin negotiations! Skylight/Neon says "sure, gimme $18,000 american" A high initial offer to set the tone... Wait. A fucking 40k forum is not worth that much!
Moderators responded "wow, that's a bit much. How about $4500 american instead?" Counter offer. They must've had my same reaction.
Skylight: "Screw you, you bunch of losers! I ban you all!"
Moderators: "fine, we'll go create another forum somewhere else. We have backups and all
the code for the board anyway, you just own the URL." Yay! More dumbass, incorrect legal reasoning!
immature TO members: "w00T! Mods're gone! Lets spam! SPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAM!
Disgusting image spam! Hack Skylights account and Facebook! MORE SPAM! SPAM FOR
EVERYONE!" Where's my spam, dammit! I'm hungry as hell over here!

And now you're here.
Does that pretty much sum it up? Good enough for government work.

Speaker of Truth- Jezlad once again proves that Heresy
Online is the best site in the world. This greatness is achieved by spoonfeeding shit isn't all greatness achieved this way?
into the mouths of his members, and banning anyone who protests banning them from shit feedings? a horrible punishment.
Well done, you sad fuck I like that you congratulate yourself by name so I don't have to. And here comes a wall of text... I would have broken it up, but... well... I didn't.

Chapter Master Seth- That can be corrected a bit.
Admin B adds banners, which can be of NSFW dude! who the fuck are you, the mind police? nature, to the tops of pages, as well as redirect ads when browsing the website beyond the forums themselves.
Moderators, who have dealt with Admin B before and know he has a history of making unpopular changes whilst consulting no one, petition and offer a variety of options. Admin B shows he has the same ability to process information as a brick wall brick walls are notoriously good processors, that's why we use them in computers and bans the entire mod team with no justification. An infinitesimally small but vocal percentage of the community decide to react with the graphic pictures above so... more porn? but is
it SFW or NSFW, I need to know, Seth! Tell me!
, but thanks to the admin's mod ban,
nobody is there to control the website.
Admin B is left with a destroyed website and an amazingly large majority of the original website's
core community move to a new website without an insane admin. Said admin may have been within
his rights, yes, but it was still a community and he made an unpopular, ill-informed, and short-sighted
decision and paid the price. I can't make fun of this... It's fundamentally correct. Oh wait, this is FNIF. I can make fun of this. Reason? On the Internet? Bullshit. No one will listen to you. In a related topic, Jezlad, while I don't fault you for holding an opinion contrary to my own and posting about it on your own website, I must wonder why you've gone to such lengths to post across the 40k community I must wonder why
you get your panties in a twist about NSFW
. I've noticed posts of yours here, in 40k
Online, Dakka, and Tau Online (that last one quite amusing - hearty trolling by all involved parties ;)
) ooh... the dreaded double chinned smiley, does this mean you're fat? itself, not to mention various blogs. Why? I'm sure there are other, less aggressive ways of making your opinion known that don't include stalking for Tau Online-related posts in the 40k community.
For my part, I have asked that our members try to be less
defensive and aggressive towards your statements, for I feel if they cannot respond without hostility
it is better for all involved they ignore your messages. We believe the only proportionate and fair
response to your recent posts is to ask our members to be civil, and to ask for the opportunity to try and
better inform you of the situation.
Thank you for your time. Can I have the time I spent reading your bs back?

Sgt. Dellius- Jezlad, I've said this on another site where you were posting, but I'll reiterate in summary big words? Puh-leese! This is the Internet, any intelligence will be rooted out and crushed, that I'm happy to try and correct your mistaken statements you have made over the past few days I'd be happy to try and correct your terrible fucking grammar... with a crowbar. I would rather do this on that other site or via another method of communication, but if you so wish and grant me the permission to do so, I will gladly attempt to do so here instead I'm loving all these clauses and shit dude. Can you speak more verbosely, please?. I understand you have no obligation to listen to me or indeed to change your opinions on the matter even after I have tried to clarify and correct the situation, but I feel there is no reason that we cannot be civil towards each other. I feel that this is an Internet fight, so yeah. He ain't gonna be civil, hoss.

Jezlad- The mods made him an offer. He said no. Then they started to threaten him with legal action and contacting GW oh no... don't tell big brother GW!. It's no surprise they were sacked... they/you or whoever it was deserved to be sacked. Its his site... he's within his rights to do whatever he wants Yeah! Because this is America, bitch! Total freedom! Yeehaw! Oh wait... I think you're British... . If you as a moderator don't like that you have two choices, like it or leave.
Rather than leave quietly though you all embarked on an embarrassing and
pathetic web campaign jumping up and down and stomping your feet like 3 year olds.
I couldn't give two fucks what you think about a meaningless post on a blog. I'd sort my own shit
out before I started worrying what little old Jezzie has to say about it. :) Or I would of bought
the site off the previous admin and averted the entire comedy. If all else fails: Time Travel, preventing Internet Drama since 9595.

BTomasulo/CompuBrain- Lamest. Name. Ever. Of course there's going to be no legal action on anyone's part no shit, sherlock, of course Neon Skylight or whatever the guy's name is won't sue his former mods for stealing his content. That's just silly you're silly, especially your name. What happened was the current owner bought the site for far more than it's worth. Then he realized he got ripped off, so started using interpage ads. The moderating team tried to buy it for what it was really worth, so he got insulted and banned them all. Then a few individuals spammed his site to the point of worthlessness. Now he'd be lucky to get anything for it. Also no one wants to join his new moderating staff cause they'd have to clean up that ridiculous mess. The former moderating team started a new website. That's it. Good summary I fail to see how that makes the former moderating team "retards." It didn't make them retards, they were retards before all that, durr!

Jezlad- He doesn't make any money from a single google banner
and very little from the rest.
Like he stated himself, he isn't selling
the site - you wanted to buy it. Therefore the offer will have to be way above his valuation of the site. If I have a 10" rubber cock I'm particularly fond of this explains a lot, Jezlad, especially your fondness for dog bollocks worth £10 that I don't plan to sell and you turn up interested in buying my 10" rubber cock I'm not going to sell it for it's value am I? What possible benefit would that be to me? I just sold
£10s worth of cock for £10 I'm not
sure that I have a comment that's more amusing than the statement you just made. If after selling I decide I want a replacement 10" rubber cock I'll end up spending everything I earned selling my previous cock. If however, you offered me £18 for my 10" rubber cock I'd be willing to
listen knowing I could get a replacement cock and still have more?
Buy for £10, sell for £18. Arbitrage 101. Why are you finding that so hard to comprehend?
your fondness for rubber cocks He doesn't want to sell the site... but he will if you pay way over the odds.
Don't give me some nonsense spiel about profiteering off a GW fansite either... BOLS
oh shit oh shit oh shit, he mentioned BOLS... if he says their name twice more, he'll summon them! have been doing it for years without any issues whatsoever and we're talking thousands, not a few bucks a day from adsense.

chloer90lpt- "Why are you finding that so hard to comprehend?" Maybe there is too much rubber cock :P haha. my thoughts exactly (or not enough :O) does everyone here love rubber cock? I just love Chubby Cox...

sp- Are you really so short sighted. Nope, but I love question marks at the ends of questions, dick Neon, [according to the mods] has tried to make money from the site [which he has], and in return you say is actually he is making no money from the site. If this is so why would he make them have to pay $18k,
for a site making him no money? I think that makes it fairly clear he has been making a fair amount of money. If he was losing money/breaking even, and the ad's were worthless, surely he would be trying to sell the site to cut his losses?
You're making a fair amount of sense and refuting some of Jezlad's bs assertions... Hmm... I'll go ahead and let everyone know that no one listens to you.

Sgt. Dellius- Oh god, not this prattling asswipe again... With respect no, fuck respect, I think you are mistaken in your interpretation of facts and events. We did not threaten any legal action seriously? so we can all go home now?, we merely sought to bring to his attention a potential problem we had found as well as other matters. He elected you to the seat of "asshat in chief" to ignore these problems and subsequently escalate I love escalators them. If he felt threatened in any way he should have commented upon
them surely don't call me shirley, bitch, rather than focusing only on the sale aspect. By the time my letters were taken to him, we had more than just an attempted sale seeking resolution. What is this even supposed to mean?

We could only advise him I can only advise you to stop talking of what we felt was a possible issue, he sought to ignore it but did he actually ignore it? Think before you write, please dear god, $5 words don't mean shit when you use them wrong. We asked for resolution on the advertising issue, he sought to ignore it again with the sought to ignore... awesome. We sought to put sought to put now, classy the
site in the hands of people who knew the hobby and the community, and sought to advise
you really like the word "sought," don't you? him we found his named prices excessive and potentially illegal what?.
By the same token, we can only inform others of our side. Skylight's only acts have been to ignore
everything after creating a mess.
Others such as yourself do of course have the right to comment as
they see fit it's call freedom of speech, and I love it, it lets me snowmobile your ass, but I feel it is only fair announcement: life's not fair we are able to respond and attempt to correct any mistaken statements we perceive I perceive that your life is a mistake, can I attempt to correct that? Preferably with a crowbar?. You may elect me as your supreme leader to be unconvinced by our efforts to clarify it, again that is your right. And you've got to fight for your right...
to party!

Jezlad- They aren't mistaken. I've read through the email transcripts you've posted on the second sphere website... My opinion is based on these facts so your opinions are based on retards, since facts = retards?, yes the guy is unreasonable, but that doesn't detract from the way you handled the situation. Which was
at least it wasn't Xtreme to say the least.

"We want this" I personally want a harem and my own brewery
"No" that's usually the answer I get as well
"OK legal letters" hmmm... I wonder if I
could work that somehow...

Lame? Yes, you are.
My opinion stands.
But how can it? It has no legs!

TristanPerry- this guy claims he was the owner of Tau Online before the Neon Skylight took over Again, complete rubbish. You don't have a clue of the facts and are just trying to create trouble.

I did not sell the site to Neon Lim ('Skylight'). Nor did the domain expire. So how'd he get it? Keep trolling though ;-)

Jezlad- My initial posts were to highlight the possible legal implications of copying the database errr... no? I read them. A gesture of kindness sure, provocation = kindness, just like facts = retards met by insults and aggression. From then on I'm having fun... at your expense :) Right back at ya

eddthereaper- and you have just proved that the internet is still full of pricks but are they made of rubber? seeking to annoy or anger others lack of punctuation annoys me back on track, they had it coming to them by selling it to someone with a microscopic amount of posts, someone who didn't really do anything for the community and just sat back and waited for the profits to start rolling in

Silk Spectre- Basing the entire community on the actions of the few? I'd hardly call that rational or normal behaivour I'd call that human behavior and I would expect more from someone who clearly has an enthusiasm for the hobby and the patience to run his own 40K website, profit free as well err... I wouldn't.

Now Jezlad, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying anything bad about you actually, you are, I'd just prefer it if you not judge all of the previous Tau Online community based on the actions of some retards posting shock images for no reason other than spite. I myself did spam the website so you're just as bad, huh? after I had found out about the faisco but not shock images, merely links to the new website telling others where to go in threads explaining what had happened. I do agree with you're I agree with my conclusion that you're an idiot conclusion that the owner is a retard himself and does not understand that he cannot make money of someone elses intellectual copyright uh... he's doing that how? Oh, wait, he's not and do appreciate the large fanbase that you have built up on the website. Therefore I would prefer it if instead of writing a biased post knowing that it will pick up lots of hit the tried and true formula of blogging you would instead perform the duty to your community and report the news of Tau Online's destruction in an unbiased and informative way fuck that! none of us are real journalists, asshole.If anything, you have made enemies and not friends by posting such an abrasive message for the
benefit of gaining a few hits you know that we will come and post after we find out about this.

Jezlad- Personally couldn't care less what they read you here, Silk Spectre say,
think or plan to do. 
This is a single post on a blog, nothing is posted on the forums, nothing will be posted on the forums and as far as I'm concerned its done with.  They don't like my opinion - tough. That's all it is, they have far more on their plate than this :)  Funny thing is, the more they respond and try to defend themselves the more drama this will  cause... And the more I get to snowmobile! I call that win-win-win-win!

Silk Spectre- I hope you're happy about the distrust and malicious feelings you have stirred up I know I am between our two communities for the sake of...? Nothing? A cheap laugh? better than an expensive one An excuse to throw sand in our faces while we're still on the floor? we call that a coup de grace here, bitch Whatever, I'm not going to judge you or your website based on this yeah, you pretty much did, actually in the hopes that you will not judge us based on the posts of some of our more unsavoury members.

Jezlad- You're the ones jumping up and down for attention. Well bravo, you got it. The fact you don't like my view of the situation is irrelevant.  I gave you an open invitation to prove me wrong and what am I given? a cookie? A link to a version of events that supports my theory that the admin you're moaning about is well within his rights to do anything he wants with his website.  I'm not going to go any deeper than I have, your staff sulked and you've been called out for it. End of situation imo it's not over until I get tired of typing in green text - good luck with Second Sphere. :)

Silk Spectre- Being a douche does not mean he's doing something illegal, it just means he's being an abrasive arse. so are you The sooner you realise that this is the core of the matter, the sooner you'll realise why we're annoying and you'll be a step closer to writing balanced articles. nah, no he won't

Jezlad- You must be ashamed of the mess you've all got in? I mean, cocks and grandaddy gay porn? we already know you like rubber cocks... It sure is funny. You sold your site to someone, took his money and now you're bringing everyone with you to a new site? Doesn't that make you a bigger creep than the guy whose money you took? maybe? but does it make you a bigger creep than me? Never.

Mwknuth- Why should we be ashamed of that? I dunno, go back to playing with Jezlad's rubber cock The staff and moderators didn't post it, and we had no means of removing it. More like didn't want to, amirite?
You are laughing because don't know anything about what is going on here. After reading this, I'm sure nobody knows what's going on here The staff never sold anything or profited from any sale. The original owner sold it years ago to a silent partner, and that person sold it to Skylight. We should have left and taken everyone with us then, but we wanted to give Skylight a chance. And he never posted. There's a lot more here, but it get's kinda technical into who knows what about who and who bought and sold and whatnot, so I'll just leave you with this last poignant comment.

High_Seraph- uum im assuming dogs bollocks is good? im
american so i dont know

And here we are. I think I snowmobiled a bit more than I should have, but in the end, I think you can get the sense of how flat out stupid this all is. If there's anything I've learned from all this, it's that human stupidity (and love of rubber cock) is truly boundless...


The_King_Elessar said...

Fun times. Yay for guest authors...but I'm on Jez's side, obviously.

I still don't think I've ever been snowmobiled y'know...Except by me...

Tinkling Koala said...

It's a sad life when you're the only one to snowmobiling yourself.

Good FNIF, Kennedy.

Zheilt said...

I think this is the worst case of everyone losing that we've seen yet. Jezzle was going to get my vote for being the biggest dog bollock, but there's just something so fascinating about 10" rubber cocks.

kennedy said...

@TKE: I thought about putting you in there, but there were so many people saying stupid things...

@Tinkling Koala: Thank you, I tried my hardest on it.

@Zheilt: So many people love rubber cocks... How can it be wrong?

Chumbalaya said...

Holy shit! What have I missed?

That's fucking hilarious, well done Kennedy.

DiabloCableGuy said...

Ahh damn fine job Kennedy! 'Dat did give me a fine chuckle lad.

Gx1080 said...

Fuck yeah rubber cocks.


Momba said...

Nice FNIFing, Kennedy, but I have to say that although generos amounts of rubber cocks were in use (are they NSFW?), I missed some of the usual profanity. I know that this is propably because of you being a "decent human being" and all that, but I am sure you can overcome that.

SandWyrm said...

W. O. W. !

Surreptitious Muffin said...

I don't think Jezlad is English. His syntax is too weird for an L1 English speaker. If he is, I've no idea where he gets off calling others retards. If possible, his stuff's actually harder to read than Dellius'.

The_King_Elessar said...

JezLad is indeed English - but he is from Essex. Think Russell Brand's use of the mother tongue as the closest well-known analogy (I can think of)

LostIsland said...

Wow, good to see that my email made it all the way through here to kennedy. Well done man, it's the first FNIF that's been almost civil while scathing

lee said...

nice one mate

jez here, made me chuckle.

It's still going on over there, but I'm stirring some shit up on BoLS too at the moment so it's calmed down a bit.

I might have another poke soon [insert rubber cock joke here]