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Friday, October 15, 2010

Friday Night Internet Fight: Round 33

There was a hard fought battle of the wits this morning as Dethtron fought Dethtron in a no-holds-barred steel cage death match to determine which of three absolutely ridiculous forum threads to use for this week's fight.  I think I figured out how to use one of them for my FNIF: Extra Innings series that no one reads, but ultimately I decided on going using one from a newer forum, Imperial Guard Message Board.  For some naive reason, when I found out this forum existed a while back I actually got a little excited.  Being a Guard player myself, I'm always on the lookout for some new info.  You don't have to be a rocket surgeon to figure out how this brief love affair ended:  I read a few posts and realized that not only is everyone there full of shit, but Melissia is a frequent poster...shit.

To provide proof of the level of discourse that you're likely to find there I present to you the magic that is Deep Strike + Transport???  The number of question marks alone should tell you what kind of thread this will turn out to be.  I don't want to ruin this for you ahead of tie, but this is how rules threads turn out when people who don't seem to be entirely familiar with the game resort to mental fisticuffs.

As always, none of the names have been changed to protect the innocent, but their avatars have been for my own amusement.  Portions of this thread, not affecting the outcome, have been edited out and posts may be displayed out of chronological order, to make for an easier read.  I will not edit spelling and grammar mistakes made in the original post- we all know it's funnier that way.  Last and certainly not most the least, I will be snowmobiling in red text when I come up with some witty rejoinder or other.  Without further ado, here goes nothing:

Rook- I noticed that stormies can take a chimera. ~hope that one didn't take you too long to figure out.  Does the chimera get deep strike ability if linked up with stormies?  ~only if you physically link them together, like with a chain or something It would seem rather stupid that it didn't but I figured I would ask first before using.

And if you could point me to the rule(page) either confirming or denying that would be awesome.  ~error 404 page not found

Thanks in advance.
Ymmot- I'd say that the trasport also has to have the deep strike special rule if you want it to deep strike.  ~and we have a winner right out of the gates.  Why are there almost 30 posts after this you ask?  Read on to find out

No luck finding a page number...  ~that might have something to o with such a page not existing.

I know they can outflank in their chimera's though.(p.94) ~Oh I almost forgot, if rule A allows me to do B, then rule X clearly then allows me to do....fuck it, not even going to finish that though
Rolling Thunder- Rook,

This is the most awesome idea in the history of mankind. ~is it too much to ask that somebody named rolling thunder might know a little something about what the air force is currently capable of in real life
RedsandRoyals- Seconded. Oh God, seconded.  ~you're also an idiot, oh god, you're an idiot

Okay, I have read the rules for Deepstrike, and there is nothing at all that says they can't do this.   ~there also isn't a rule stating that I can't use my balls as a vehicle (F10S10R10 open topped skimmer, transport capacity 5 armed with spooge cannon [R template S4 AP- any unit wounded by spooge canon must take a dangerous terrain test if it moves in its next movement phase])

Also, looking at the infiltrate rule, any unit with this rule that buys a dedicated transport can apply that rule to the transport.  ~epic reading fail.  Wonder how long it will take for somebody to point it out Thus, we have precedent to assume you're right....  ~not so much, bub

This...this may change my opinions on taking Stormies.   ~you know, since a power armor raping rapid fire weapon in a scouting transport is sooooo terrible.

Reds ~gahhhhhhhh.  Well, what more would one expect from somebody who actually has a Stalin avatar.  Seriously Internet- Stalin= not cool
Rook- Ummmm, thanks I think. Jesus(Raptor riding Christ) ~oh boy, memes.  Whoopee you scare me when you type a sentence like that... 

What are you up too? ~not too much, you wanna go grab something to eat- maybe get a game in?
Page 75 reads they CAN'T infiltrate with said transport. Where are you getting your info?  ~a drug induced stupor? 

RedsandRoyals- Whoop, sorry. I meant Scouts.

Still, that means it does specify when you can't do it, and it doesn't say you can't for the Chimera.... ~I cannot describe in words how tired I am of this type of argument.  Instead, I'll describe it like this 3====} (_o_)

Reds  ~douche

Trickstick- I think this comes down to the whole "permissive ruleset" agument. Nowhere does it say that a dedicated transport gains the abilities of its occupants. The only exceptions are in the case of "Outflank" at the bottom of page 94 and also a dedicated transport can gain scouts from its occupants, as detailed on page 76. Note that it doesn't get infiltrate if it has an infiltrating squad inside, it just allows it to outflank. ~a beacon of hope in a sea of painful stupidity.  Thanks stick

Deep Strike This Mother Fucker
 Plus, from a fluff perspective, how would you deepstrike a chimera? I must say that the thought of a chimera-sized grave chute is appealing, if a little weird. ~you had it all, an easy FNIF win, a clear indication that you're not a complete moron, and then you fritter it away.  I think it's time for the first ever pictorial snowmobile (also, it's totally hard to find a picture of a parachuting tank that's not from that dumbass A Team movie)

RedsandRoyals- The same way you can try and justify Deepstriking an idiot Land Raider.  ~yeah, land raiders are so dumb, geez You push it out of a passing plane. ~now why was it that earlier you seemed to think that this was the most novel concept ever?

Trickstick has a good point. Where's Westrider? He knows all of these things.

Reds ~aaaahhh
Trickstick- Land Raiders come in via thunderhawk transporters though, they can carry one landraider or two rhino chasis. Nearest thing we have are the massive drop ships on the codex cover. ~well those big ass things should be more than capable of dropping a chimera Wish we could get a marauder transporter or something, say it could transport any chimera frame vehicle.

RedsandRoyals- There is a Valk modded to hold an Elysian buggy. I'm sure that it wold be easy enough to mod it to hold Chimera.  ~not even going to rip on you, because you may not have seen those models, but the Tauros is way smaller than the Chimera, so that conversion would not be anything approaching easy

Reds ~go to hell
Trickstick- That thing does seem nice but it would need a whole lot of extra thrust to lift a chimera. Maybe a couple of pivoting engine pods on the wing tips. A Chimera is a lot heavier than a Tauros.  ~didn't know that schools were now offering advanced degrees in Sci-Fi physics.  Time to bust out my Ender's Game Gravity Thesis

I must say if someone tried to use deepstriking chimera outside of a fun game with friends i would give them a weird look and think that they were joking.  ~probably because it's not allowed in the rules May as well say that the chimera gets pinning too if the stormtroopers have that mission, or how about feel no pain if it has a medic inside?  ~may as well say they get scout too while we're at it...oh....shit

May write up a special mission about a deepstriking chimera plattoon behind enemy lines, sounds like fun.

Rook- I'm sending a message to customer service at GW. ~aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahaha hahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha haha hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahhahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahaha ahahahahaha ha ha ha ha h ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ahaha  hahahahahahah ha h a ha ha ha hahahahahaha ha h a hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahaha hahahahahaha hahahahahahah ha hahahahahaha ahahahahah ahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahaha ha ha ha h a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha h a hahahahahahahaha ahahahhahahahaha hahahahaha aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahaha hahah hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahaha hahahahahaha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahaha hahahahaha bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh hahahahahahahahaha bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah hahahahahahahahahahahaha ahahaha hahahahah ahahhahahahaha    hahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahaha ............. Oh shit, you were serious.  Good luck to you sir

Will post the response here.

Dedrier- Does this mean we can deepstrike a Valk as well? ~I think I just actually facepalmed for the first time in my life

Nevermind, its already in the rules. XD ~In case you were wondering, yes this was added in by the poster well after the original post.  Now as to the specific mental deficiencies that led to this happening, I can only speculate.
Rook- Here is the customer service response via email;


I am not quite sure that I could explain this in an e-mail
without it getting lengthy and confusing, so here's the remedy: if you
can call us at 1-800-394-4263, we can get to the bottom of this quite
quickly and effectively for you before we even hang up the phone! ~so hang on, he's saying he'll probably resolve your question before he hangs up?  That's nice to know.  It is generally good form to conduct most of a phone conversation while the line is still active.  The fuck?


Andrew Hall
Customer Service Specialist"

I have yet to call.
Laughing Man- GW Staff member's brain reading the email: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH QUICK GET A FORM RESPONSE AND PASS THE BUCK.  ~lol, good thing I haven't looked into the future to find out that Andy Hall actually answers this question satisfactorily over the phone, cock

Here is the customer service response via email;


I don't know the answer and can't be bothered to find out, so please ask someone else. ~I see what you did there.  Now if only you could have done it in such a manner that it might be slightly amusing


Andrew Hall
Customer Service Specialist"
Gasmask- Happyorange = Captin Subtext!! ~shit, I'd almost forgotten that putting words in someone's mouth is subtext.  Let me try: Happyorange=not actually witty
RedsandRoyals- Just called.  ~I missed it, I must have been out.  Please leave me a voicemail the next time you try to call me about those dinner plans

I actually talked to Mr. Hall when I called, and he seemed like a nice guy (He plays IG too, so we talked Stormies for a little while).  ~hmm, looks like the buck was not passed after all
Apparently you CANNOT deepstrike the Chimera. ~hate to say I told you so.  Wait, no I don't.  I love telling dipshits like you I told you so  Most USRs do not transfer to dedicated transports. Units transferring Scout to their transport is the exception to the rule.

Reds ~dipshit


Dave G _ Nplusplus said...

rofl... oh wow... I needed that laugh. Thank you once again Dethtron. I was really hoping this would end with some sort of:

"I'll try it at our local tournament this weekend and see if anyone says something."

While we're at it, I want my skimmer popup attacks back. Nothing says the max height a skimmer can be above the board or that vertical movement isn't allowed. Somebody stir up a nest somewhere on this topic for next week.

Hoagy said...

Quite possibly my fave snowmobiling yet. I really think you should publish this shit man. I've heard rumors that if you say 'Melissia' three times into a mirror she'll appear standing behind you. Then she'll condemn you to a life of suffering by explaining exactly what Sisters battle armor is capable of. I'mm glad she didn't 'appear' in this thread, although hilarity probably would have magnified.

Good job, squire.

Zheilt said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Zheilt said...

I'm sorry, what happened? I blacked out in a panic when I read that Melissia might be in this thread...

The thing that makes this one so hilarious, I think, is that someone asked a question, there were some dumb responses but no real spite or malice, someone CALLED GAMES WORKSHOP ON THE PHONE, and then got the answer to the question. It's so funny because of how non-controversial and pleasant everything was. It's just so unlikely to have actually happened, but there it is.

Reds gets my vote this week for probably being the first person to ever try calling GW for a rules debate. Also, for being the most naive person on the planet for expecting it to actually work. (the fact that it did does not invalidate his naivette)

Dethtron said...

Zheilt: I think you hit the nail on the head. The original thread wasn't funny becaues there was an epic fight. Hell, I don't even know that there's much disagreement going on. A few people correct eachother here and there, but it's pretty tame. The real humor for me lies in just how obscenely naive everything about this is and the fact that somehow everything eventually randomly works itself out.

Sorry, I don't normally feel like I have to explain why I choose a particular thread, but there you have it.

Alex said...

I actually have resorted to calling GW for a rules question - in the middle of the game. This happened years ago back in 3rd edition 40k, so my memory might be bit fuzzy on it. The guy I was playing was trying to bend the rules to allow some Marines to ride on top of a Rhino, in addition to the other squad that was in it. He was being a stubborn ass, despite proving him dead wrong via the rulebook - I figured calling GW was my trump card. Having called his bullshit, he abided by the rules.

SandWyrm said...

LOL! I used to have GW's rules # programmed into my phone. Then they closed down the Bitz service and stopped answering questions except via email.

I surprised they're taking calls again.

Iggy said...

It's comedy like this that get me through work - cheers Dethron :)

Gx1080 said...

GW actually has, like, customer service and stuff? :O

DFM said...

I voted Trickstick, just for the inspiration of picture snowmobiling.