Friday Night Internet Fight: Round 31

As you know, I'm pressed for time, but since I completely forgot to arrange for somebody else to do FNIF for me this week, I came up with something slightly different- a one sided fight with nobody representing the opposition.  Unless you're living under a rock you probably already know that the Dark Eldar are getting a new codex soon and probably don't smell like rocks.  If you're extra savvy and cutting edge, you may also have heard some rumors that the DA might be able to fit poison ranged weapons on just about every unit.  This has erupted in the inevitable shitstorm of morons running around claiming that 'nids are screwed, DA have broken the game (before they're even fucking released), and the sky is falling. 

Being sick of dealing with Internet stupidity as I am, I'm holding myself back from reading any of the Librarium, Dakka, Warseer, or BoLS lounge threads that I'm assuming are already shooting across the forumosphere like a diarrhea spewing weapon of ass destruction (holy shit, I think I just made the most esoteric allusion to the liner notes from a Ween live album ever- surely somebody will get that joke, right?  It doesn't only make sense in my head, right?).  Instead, I saw a quick little blurb about it on YTTH and pissed myself laughing when I read what the Zombyes had to say.  So here it is- Zombyes v. the rest of the world in a Dark Eldar fueled Zombye apocalypse.

As always, none of the names have been changed to protect the innocent, but their avatars have been for my own amusement.  Though it's hard to make fun of people who have valid opinions, I'll be snowmobiling in red anyway.  Make sure you vote in the poll on the right side of your screen- if you don't, the baby Jesus cries.

GMort.- I'm getting bored of the following progression every-time GW are about to release anything new, ~it's almost gotten to the point that I'm bored of step 4.5: Whining about the whiners ensues, perhaps in the form of a bulleted list ;p


1 - New Codex announced.
2 - Internet gets worried.
3 - New Codex gets closer to release.
4 - Internet starts whining.
5 - Codex gets released.
6 - Internet gets upset because it has to learn some new tactics.
7 - Everybody with half a brain deals with it, adapts their play-style and/or army to cope and gets on with their lives.
8 - Rest of Internet rewrites the rules with some bullshit 'unofficial' FAQ which is then made obsolete by GW what seems like a fucking year later. ~you know GW has had the last round of FAQs up in record time.  After they took months figuring out how to rape 'nid players
9 - New Codex announced...

Whine, Whine, Whine. ~cheese cheese cheese

I've got a better idea. Just use a balanced list to start off...
 

Purgatus-Well, it's not as if the same thought did not occur to others, lol. It had occurred to me also - gee army-wide poison does seem to hurt Nids quite a bit.


But in every case, EVERY CASE the rumors turn out to be either false or, when seen in the context of the army as a whole, not that big of a deal. ~seeing as to how this is from a leaked 'dex, I'm pretty sure the rumor won't be too false.  Agree that it isn't the end of the world and is being taken out of the context of the army as a whole, though

Learn to adjust internets. ~I tried adjusting my Internets one time and woke up two weeks later in Tijuana with a midget transvestite hooker and a majority share in a small agave farm and Tequila distillery- and I don't even like Tequila
 

GMSN- one thing i've learned about 40k players is that they fear change ~not me.  I just fear the reaper.... and confined spaces- that new fucking Ryan Reynolds movie looks like it would drive me batshit crazy.  Not just because of the being buried alive thing, but also because if he has a cell phone that's working under ground, I'm pretty sure the technology exists to locate him- movie solved! Oh and also Ryan Reynolds is a terrible actor
 

Tarik- Hey, let's be fair, Tyranids are an amazingly underpowered army  Everyone put on your sarcastic helmets.  This one's going to be a doozy.  At least 9.2 sarcasotrons on the Frichter scale. Definitely 3/4ths Tier. Their monstrous creatures are extremely crappy vs. poision, especially because:


1. No Feel no Pain or Screening for their big bugs

2. No 2+ armor save bugs.

3. No weapons that can reliably pierce a AV10 open topped vehicle 54" away. Don't even ask for a reliable 30" S8 weapon that requires no line of sight. Hell, we have no S9 at all!

4. ABSOLUTELY NO WAY TO DEAL WITH INFANTRY. No
templates, no blasts, no torrents of fire, no
cheap shooty troops Or ANY basic poisionous, adrenal glanded infantry with a 18" S4 Assault 3 weapon and I5 on the charge that can be spawned from a monstrous creature for free. Seriously GW. We are supposed to be the EPIC TIER CLOSE COMBAT ARMY. Why can I not defeat 10 TH/SS termies with a single carnifex?

5. The ability to purchase an army that is
nearly all T6, and ignoring armour saves in
CC

If Tyranids had ANY of these abilities, maybe they wouldn't be so maligned. ~I don't even have anything to say to that.  Trolling of the year.  My bowels just moved while reading this.
 

Themonad- You're all idiots. ~you are


Eldrad-a-Tar is the only army that is severely threatened by DE poison.

Except tarik.

I just peed a little. ~my poop beats your pee.  I win the Internets

Captain Kellen- The sky is falling...




...when it's over I'll be in the corner. ~any room left for me? Not in a gay way or anything.  Not that there's anything wrong with that.  Gay is ok- especially 2 chicks...there isn't even anything in the bible prohibiting that as far as I know.  If you ask me, the apostles and Moses and everybody must have been all about that shit, clearly.