Friday, August 13, 2010
Seriously though, with the Internet being back to business as normal after finally decompressing after Warbolsgamescomiccon, I was spoiled for choice as to what to write about this week. Rules arguments were everywhere, true line of site caused the sky to fall in on us, and the drama surrounding the Nova Open preceded the event itself. Which is precisely why we're going to look at a fight about a fucking video game. yeehaw!
Late last night BoLS put up THQ: Sneak Peak: Space Marine (videos), a title with more colons than you can shake an enema at. Can you shake an enema? Regardless, I watched the videos last night only to immediately sport a serious chub. Now when I say I watched the videos, I mean I skipped over the seemingly boring interview that I couldn't hear on my laptop right to the gameplay videos. There's probably nothing actually wrong with the videos, but my TV was on at the time and if I'm not watching 4 TVs Elvis style while reading a book, surfing the net, and working on a cure for cancer, then I'm not really living. Then, I moved on with life, finished up the novel I was reading and went to bed. I woke up in the early morning to my phone flashing with an e-mail from Internet sensation, Brent, telling me to go check out the comments on that post, which I hadn't done. Assuming it would just be a bunch of jackasses saying 'hurr durr, I like video games, this video game looks good, something about gameplay, blah blah,' I had skipped the comments entirely. Shattering the illusions I had about what would happen in the comments, what follows is what really happend on BoLS.
As always none of the avatars have been changed to protect the innocent, but their avatars have been for my own amusement. There will be a brief poll at the upper right of your screen following the fight. Go there and support who or whatever you thought won the fight. Let the snowmobiling commence.
~well disappointing if you don't think explosions and shooting storm boyz out of the sky looks awesome. The art for the Space Marine is nice enough, but its clearly just a reskinned generic shooter with little connection to the 40K universe. ~except all that 40k stuff in there...and the British accents. In the grim dark future there is only Great Britain!
Bolters aren't machine guns, space marines don't ride crashing valkyries like orlando bloom rides mumaks, ~yeah, everybody knows they ride them like I rode your mom last night- in the ass! and orks don't die in their 1000s to a single marine, particularly not with head-stomping boot attacks (which is apparently a generic thing that happens often during game play). ~little known fact: curb stopping is the preferred method of Ork teeth extraction
And regardless of how much of an Ork fanboy you are, bare skull versus 800 pound adamantium curbstomp is not a win for unarmoured head. Ever. ~probably not the right time to talk about physics, but I bet if the angle were just right, you could still bounce that boot off the skull
~only if you try not to be a fucking douche when you respond
He said "orks don't die in their 1000s to a single marine". Orks do not die in the thousands to a single Marine, to an small contingent of Marines yes but not to a single marine.
~listen buddy, facts and logic will get you nowhere in this game And if you had read the article, you would know there's more than one marine anyways. So really, maybe you shouldn't be commenting on an article you're completely ignorant of, eh?
~silly? that's the best you can do? really? you fop. He's obviously getting an incomplete picture of the game. Regardless, there's no point in arguing over such a minor detail.
~and molochi takes being a dickhead troll to the next level.
Space Marines don't always fight as a squad. There are many times where they will be used as Leaders Among Men. It is quite plausible that a Space Marine would ride a Valkyrie and survive the crash 'in style'.
Second, have you read anything about Bolters? They spray rounds like crazy. hey say it, don't spray it, guy
Third, Have you even read the stories in your codex--- I am not even talking about the books, but just the codex. Captain Sicarius defending Black Reach? 1000's upon 1000's upon 1000's orks were killed by a company of marines. ~so like more than 3,000 orks then?
~nerd out much? From what I see in those vids, in this game, bolter is basically some kind of stupid autogun. ~you're a stupid autogun
Owned. ~you were doing so well up until you said that, but I'm sorry to say that this has disqualified you from further participation in this FNIF. Better luck next time
~ right, because that's super important and germane to the situation at hand
Definitely not, as you said, your bog standard assault rifle.
~not to get dragged down to their level, but what the fuck does rate of fire have to do with reverence?
I wish THQ would make the game at least a little more tactical and hard hitting, instead of making it "Smash TV." ~actually, I think the world needs more smash TV style games
I think the spectacle is what is going to sell it to the audience that doesn't want another boring rts. ~here here
From what I've seen of the game so far it seems like a mindless brawler where one guy mows through endless enemies without any tactics, or strategy. ~you had me at "mindless brawler" You might as well play Gaunltet, Double Dragon, or any of the more modern games like that.
I'm not saying to make the game a RTS, but to make it at least have SOME strategy in it. ~I'm super glad that your first hand experience with this game has led you to this conclusion. Oh you don't have any experience with it? sit down and shut up!
Hell, even Halo forces you to use some strategy and tactics when you ramp up the difficulty. The new Halo Reach is pretty much just a hair shade different from 40k now.
~nose candy? booger sugar?
halo has ZERO tactics, MW2 only has point shoot, dragon rising has minor tactics and sadly the new ghost recon has forrgoten about tactics and now thinks all about "COVER,shootCOVER,shoot"
(and when the original ghost recon NEEDED a little tactics)
starcraft and SC2 require tactis FPs require a twichy finger.
mashing the shoot button and left stick as fast as you can is diffrent from building armys and planning meticiously the destruction of your foes!
(and no choosing between sniping the flood and using a grav hammer isnt tactics and the best tactics halo has is co ordinting a strike.) ~not only is everything you say earth-shatteringly boring, but your grasp of English composition is attrocious
~shit, everybody run, he's off his meds again
~deep insights man. I'll be musing this over in my head for weeks to come
~that's very observant and surly of you
~you responded to a post stating an OPINION. There's a difference. For example- fact: Chuck777 is a jackoff; opinion: Chuck777 is a jackoff No where did I say they were not including it.
Don't be such a troll, scrub. ~and don't go chasing waterfalls, nutsack
The only trolls I see are people who are commenting on a article they didn't read past the headline. ~I'd like to interview you to figure out what it's like to live in a mirror free land
~crap I forgot, saying the same thing twice DOES make it valid
~Yeah, I'm sure that they just wanted to throw a little cash to play test something they weren't planning on implementing in the game however, they will have multiplayer (at least, knowing relic and it's latest outing, i'm hoping it will be good), i was simply expressing what would happen to some random kid of the street if they turned mentally retarded. :) ~what. the. fuck.
gameplay while the game is still in development and we don't know anything about it aside from a few snippets of video ~I'd congratulate you on that dig if you weren't doing so much speculation yourself
~first, what's up with threadjacking everything to talk about an army that, supposedly, nobody plays? second, I'm not sure I like where this is headed...
~fuck man, I'm really curious to see how you'll do in the polls. I personally both love you and hate you
~ughhhh, not even worth making fun of you as I'm sure you're having a hard enough time with life.
now that would be a fun game "Warhammer 40k: Slaaneshi edition" ~and it looks like we're not getting any closer to getting back on track. All it took to derail this thread was for somebody to get a bunch of virgin nerds thinking about naked boobs...
~and I'm done, I can't do this anymore, we've strayed too far from the path...