" a piss ant blog" -Rikimaru

"Dethtron, you are...an asshole" - 38% of Dick Move Readers

" I probably won't read unless I'm bored as shit at work" - A. Hack

"I cannot bring myself to actually read this drivel"- anonymous

"pox riddled post coital stain of a blog"- anonymous

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Rock and roll diary: Tetris

After a rousing game of irl tetris all my gear is packed for the morning and day 1 of recording.

-- Sent from my Palm Pre


Suck my balls blogger

-- Sent from my Palm Pre

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

How I Got Hooked on Warhammer and Why I'm Glad Island of Blood Wasn't Out Then Part 2

To refresh your memories, in part one of this two part series, I discussed my humble beginnings in wargaming, growing up in a medium sized city with few resources to offer the novice gamer.  Without the help of my dad's model railroad experience and learning with friends, I would have been screwed. 

Fast forward to today and we'll see if things have gotten better for the community.  My hometown had at least one dedicated, still solvent game store with GW support, last I knew.  That's an improvement over what I had.  FLGSs are a great resource for novice players, giving an environment where staff and patrons can teach game systems, show you assembly, and give painting tips.  In a brief and completely unscientific survey, it looks like most moderate sized towns have some kind of game store within a reasonable distance.  That's pretty good considering the average FLGS is hell bent on running itself out of business. 

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Rock and Roll Diary Part II

Had a fairly  boring day on the music front.  Due to my getting ahead yesterday, there wasn't a lot to be done.  I got my drums tuned where I want them.  Thanks to recording the head tensions prior to changing heads yesterday, though, it took me longer to set everything up than it did to tune the drums.  My Premier kit has always been exceptionally good at holding its tuning, so I'm not worried about them slipping out of tune between now and Friday, when we start recording, or even after I start playing them.  Just in case, though I have a printout of my head tensions stowed in my snare drum case.  Additionally, I have a spare head for every drum now, because of yesterday's almost unwarranted change.  I've never broken a tom head in 20 years of playing, but I do periodically blow out snare heads, so it's nice to have a good extra handy.  I hit fairly hard, but mostly use my wrists and fingers, like you should, so it's not so much the power of my playing that busts heads as it is the fact that I crank my snare way the fuck up to get the sound I like. 

Finally, you may have noticed the bad ass artwork up top.  That is going to be the EP cover.  We commissioned an artist to paint that for us about a month ago and he brought that to us in record time.  I almost got sex wee all over my leg the first time I saw it.  This is probably the first time that I've been truly happy with album artwork on any of the 5 or so albums I've been involved with in the past. 

PS, to clarify some questions/statements from yesterday regarding the demo backing track I put up.
  1. Sounds Symphonic- what I posted was just strings and a couple of odds and ends (chimes and a filtered synth).  This will be low in the final mix, adding depth to the 2 guitars, bass, drums, and vocals.
  2. Doesn't sound metal- see above, but also note that we have a far more classic sound than what's big with the kids today.  I like a lot of the more modern stuff just fine myself, but I'm becoming increasingly disillusioned with the studio magic that goes into producing a lot of that stuff.  Faking drum parts, over producing everything, and pitch correcting vocals is not only unimaginative, but takes away the human element of the songs.  In short, we're less Dragonforce/Dimmu Borgir and more Iron Maiden/Judas Priest/Motorhead/Bolt Thrower/Cathedral

Monday, September 27, 2010

Rock and Roll Diary Part I

This week is going to be crazy busy for me.  As such I'm not going to have a whole lot of time to talk about 40k or WFB.  That doesn't mean that I won't be posting though, but that I've got something different on my mind.  I will still finish part II of my IoB rant, though.  As I've alluded to in the past, I'm in a new metal band, Crusader, hot on the heels of dissolving the Psychobilly band that I was in, the Massacres.  This weekend we're going to be in the studio recording 4 tracks for our first EP entitled Rise of the Templars, which has been inspired by the mythology of the Knights Templar as well as the Blind Dead films.  I won't go on, but I'm sure my singer, Hoagy, can go into more detail in the comments if he cares to. 

Friday, September 24, 2010

Friday Night Internet Fight: Round 30

What up bitches?  It's Friday again, let's have us an Internet fight.  Comcast came out and replaced all my cable wiring outside the house, so hopefully I'll be able to write this shit without my modem resetting every ten minutes.  That would be totally tits. 

For today we turn our attention to the home of snarky comments and mega trolling (all in good fun and taste, of course), The Warhammer Forum for some tactical discussion.  Now who would ever expect a conversation about using pivoting to gain extra vehicle movement would turn into an argument?  Well I never....

FNIF: Round 29 Results Show

Looks like we've solved your quandary Brent: it is not ok to use the name of a brutal, genocidal maniac for a screen name.  A scientific poll has now proved it.

This week we had a near record voter turnout with 93 votes.  Brent being Brent, he had links out several places asking for people to vote for him.  It wasn't quite as crazy as the first time Brent got a poll, but it still amuses me to no end.  I think we also got more readers because I kept the fight short too.  Let me know how you guys feel on that.  I know the FNIFcan get kind of long. 

It was a complete fucking blowout in Brent's favor, with he and his faux-hawk receiving a bone-crushing 72% of the vote.  How did the lovable, charming Warboss_Stalin fare, you ask?  Well he didn't get a single vote at all.  Justice.  He did get a 7% share if you count the "not Brent" votes for him, though- a fact that 11% of you guys realized.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

GW Acknowledges WAAC Gamers; The First Rule Can Suck My Balls

Yesterday GW's What's New Today Blog, home of a daily dose of pretty pictures and no useful hobby information, acknowledged and possibly defined what a WAAC gamer is.  If you read far enough into the 9/22/10 Throne of Skulls Survival Guide, you would have run into the following after being bored to tears by the most obnoxious survival guide ever:

the temptation to play to win at all cost can overtake the best of us. However, any unscrupulous play will not earn you many friends and may eventually lead to retribution. If you can't swim I'd be extra friendly just to be on the safe side
There you have it, a WAAC player, according to a published GW contributor, is unscrupulous (a cheater) and acts like a dick. There is no mention whatsoever of bringing a good list, playing by the rules as written, or playing a tight, hard game (no homo, not that there's anything wrong with that). So everyone that I've argued with in comments threads, forums, FNIF's, my mind, in person, or whatever can officially fuck off. Invoking the first rule (have fun, or some bullshit) is likely to earn you a swift kick (or maybe a kwik kick) to your shriveled little testicles. Playing a good game with a good list does not make you a WAAC gamer; being a jerkoff and ruining somebody's "fun" does.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

How I Got Hooked on Warhammer and Why I'm Glad Island of Blood Wasn't Out Then Part 1

My copy of Island of Blood just arrived, and as I expected, it is chock full of sweet sweet miniatures and has a rulebook that is actually functional.  This is a welcome departure from the 9,000 page monstrosity that I have been using.  Be that as it may, something doesn't sit right for me, and maybe never has.  How do you prevent a novice player from being overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of the hobby and rules aspects of the set and game in general?

Friday, September 17, 2010

Friday Night Internet Fight: Round 29

In this week's fight, two men enter and one cup leaves.  Wait, I think that's another thing entirely.  Back to the thunderdome!  In truth, though, this week's fight only involves 2 people for the first time I can recall.  This is a huge first for us here and a great feat considering the fight is from BoLS. 

FNIF: Round 28 Results Show

You guys officially all suck balls.  "Worst 200th post ever" appears to have won by a wide margin, snaring 39% of the 53 votes this week while decimating my feelings.  It wasn't that bad, you're all just jerks.   Just kidding, I still love you all... except you, you know who you are.

Saint Hazard was able to snag 21% of the vote, destroying the other actual participants even though he squandered what should have been an easy victory by turning into a jackass halfway through the ordeal. 

Time to write up the next fight, so stay tuned.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Return to the Ogre Kingdoms

After a couple people pointed out that my previous Ogre list was illegal and Randroid pointed out that it also sucked, I've made a few changes.  I was able to use better equipment on characters and upgrade my Butcher to a Slaughtermaster while only losing a total of 2 models, both of which are leadbelchers, so probably nothing really lost there anyway ;P  I think the real accomplishment here is that I've resisted the urge to mention Shrek.... shit!


Nick Cave has been busy as of late.  Hot on the heels of a new novel, a critically acclaimed Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds Album, the first record from his side project Grinderman, and scoring a handful of movies such as The Road and The Assassination of the well whatever the rest of that title is, Mr. Cave and co released the second Grinderman album, Grinderman 2 yesterday.  Of course I already have it and of course I got the deluxe edition.  For the other two of you out there that still buy cds, the deluxe edition is totally worth it, even if there are no extra tracks.  The packaging kicks ass.  You get 64 pages of sketches, lyrics, and liner notes that don't come in the regular edition along with a poster. 

In case you're not familiar with the work of Nick Cave, he's an Australian native who has been working in the music business since the early 80s.  He got his start fronting The Birthday Party before forming Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, (and now you know that the Johnny Cash version of that song is a cover) whose revolving cast of members has included more people than I can possibly list here.  Highlights of that roster would have to include Mick Harvey, Neubauten's Blixa Bargeld, and Warren Ellis, though.  He's also written two novels (the first being better than the latest, but both are good), penned the screenplay for the excellent film The Proposition, and scored quite a few other movies as well as lending his voice talent to the short film The Cat PianoTired of links yet?  Sorry, but the fucker is prolific if nothing else.  Thankfully, he is also a god damned genius.  I can't say enough positive things about most of his work, although there are a few Bad Seeds albums from the late 90s/ early 2000s I could have lived without.  He got into this weird sort of gospel music, ultra-mellow religious thing that I don't get.

 Luckily, he's learned to rock again.  The last two bad seeds albums set the tone which he continued in the first Grinderman effort and through into an amplifier again for the newest Grinderman.  The album is like getting punched in the gut...in a good way.  As long as you don't hate rock music, you'll love the album.  Grinderman is composed of Long time Bad Seeds Nick Cave, Warren Ellis (not the comic book writer), Warren Casey, and Jim Sclavunos.  Warren Ellis' guitar work puts a lot of hack players attempts to stretch the limits of their effects pedals look amateurish at best.  The man is a virtuoso on the violin and guitar, although he's actually playing a fendocaster rather than a guitar, which you'll probably see later.

I could try and describe the sound for you, but would no doubt come up short.  The closest I can come is imagine Ministry playing blues rock (but not Ministry playing this, because it was fucking awful and far too literal an interpretation of what I was trying to convey).  Probably best just to let the music speak for itself.

and because Warren Ellis' fendocaster is the craziest thing ever- so much noise from such a tiny little thing (and the entire band collectively look like Jesus), here's a live clip from the first Grinderman record

Sunday, September 12, 2010

2,500 Point Ogre Kingdoms List

It's official- I've been bitten by the fantasy bug.  After getting in a game with my Empire army, I'm really excited about playing more fantasty.  While I like the Empire, it's not a radical departure from the type of army I normally take.  Grab big guns, set up a cheap meat shield of piss poor troops, perhaps throw in some combos and sneakiness, et voila- sit on your ass and throw templates at people all day from the comfort of your own deployment zone.  Let's look at a brief history of armies that I play/played regularly: Mech IG, Semi-mech IG, airborne IG, Protectorate of Menoth (template/combo city!), Empire, and a deep-striking shooty Tyranid list.  Lots of camping and shooting with a shitload of models.  The pattern should be obvious.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Friday Night Internet Fight: Round 28: Post 200 Bonanza: Longest Post Title Ever: Colon

Woohoo, I've made it to my bicentennial post and even got it to randomly sync up with FNIF.  Hooray for me.  It's seriously been a fun ride guys and gal, so thanks for reading and sending me e-mails about all of the stuff/people that are pissing you off in the hobby.  Isn't catharsis great?

Friday Night Internet Fight, Round 27 Results show

Well that was barely a contest as it turns out.  With 58 votes this week we were up from last week slightly, but down from where I know we could be.  I'll blame my inability to maintain a posting schedule these last few weeks.

With 44% of the vote, The Paint Monkey had no problem pulling out the W this week.  His only stiff competition came from the joke votes about 'shrooms and adults controlling all of the money in gaming, with 25% and 24% of the vote respectively. 

You'll all be happy to know that late yesterday evening, I replaced my cable modem, so I am fully functional again.  Hopefully I can make a better account of myself this week.  Ps, fuck Amazon.  I buy A LOT of shit from them and pay to be an Amazon Prime member to get free 2 day shipping.  Increasingly, however, this has run well over 2 days.  Case in point- I just bought a TI BAII+ calculator and modem, both eligible for 2 day shipping, which took 4 and 5 business days to arrive.  Glad I'm paying for that great service.  I probably won't be renewing that (much like my Barnes and Noble membership that I let lapse recently- seriously, $25 to get a 10% discount in stores and online and free shipping and then they go ahead and extend member benefits to everyone on their web store?  That's a fucking dick move right there.  Not to mention, their prices aren't even competitive with the discount...)

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

I'm not dead, but my cable modem is

I apologize for the lack of posts of late, but as I have alluded to previously, I'm having Internet connectivity issues at the moment.  Specifically, my cable modem is completely jacked and I only have a connection briefly and intermittently as it spontaneously resets itself (according to my isp it reset 50 times in a 12 hour period).  Woo hoo good times. 

My new hardware should be here later today or tomorrow, though, so I'll be up and running again soon.

In other news, I got to bust out my empire forces for my first game of WFB since 1997 against Hoagy this past weekend.  I had a blast in spite of the forces of fate conspiring against me.  I did learn some valuable lessons though
  1. Pistoleers are the shit
  2. That Tomb Kings spell that gives you extra shooting or close combat attacks is crazy annoying
  3. Always give expensive wizards some type of ward save
  4. Never trust probabilities (I'll be posting a brief article about this on the HOP later this week)
To check out a brief battle report and see more pictures of partially painted minis from the event (like the above) check out Hoagy's blog When Cannons Fade and then go listen to some Bolt Thrower.

Speaking of metal, my new band, Crusader,  is playing its first show tonight for free at the Exit in Chicago at 10:00 if you're in the area.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Friday Night Internet Fight, Round 27

If you had asked me this time yesterday what the FNIF what going to be about, I would have told you it wasn't happening.  I'd been dealing with my cable Internet being down for nearly 2 days followed by a day of my modem being responsive for about 15 minutes every hour.  Hence my general lack of presence on teh intertubez this last week.  But, the problem appears to have been on my ISP's side rather than a problem with my modem, and everything is working fine now, so we'll just move on.

Friday Night Internet Fight, Round 26 Results Show

The polls are closed and we have a winner!  For the second time in recent history, somebody actually won a FNIF- pretty definitively this time too, if I may be so bold.  Sadly, this poll was also one of the least active we've had here in quite some time with only 49 votes.  I blame my utter lack of having time to post anything of substance to drive traffic this week.  Oh well, better luck next time.

Back to the subject!  PagingMrHerman managed to corner the market on win this week with 42% of the vote, so congrats on that one.  Even though he clearly started a thread to get in a fight and be a dick, he still managed to win your hearts.  jmurph managed to grab 14% of the vote and "whoever wins, society loses" snagged 20% of your votes.  Everything else was scattered around in clusters of 1-2 votes that were probably mostly sarcastic or people with google alerts voting for themselves. 

Stay tuned fight fans, round 27 is coming up shortly.