" a piss ant blog" -Rikimaru


"Dethtron, you are...an asshole" - 38% of Dick Move Readers


" I probably won't read unless I'm bored as shit at work" - A. Hack



"I cannot bring myself to actually read this drivel"- anonymous

"pox riddled post coital stain of a blog"- anonymous



Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Stormtroopers


I'm sitting around recovering from a mild and highly embarrassing bout of food poisoning. This has given me lots of time to stare mindlessly into the Internet* for the day. Haven't been able to dredge up anything awful or get my panties into knot about anything major, but got sucked into a thread about the usefulness of IG Stormtroopers on Warseer. There's actually a fair amount of decent advice in the thread as well as an amusing debate about whether they are a surgical strike (scalpel) unit or a suicide unit. I vote on the former myself. I'm not likely to bring my troopers off the shelf all too often, but I've never exactly regretted taking on the rare occasions that I have. They have proved moderately useful at both MEQ and tank busting, so can usually make their (extremely high) points cost back for me.

Once I got a little deeper into the thread though, I stumbled across this gem:


definetly don't give them a transport, they're more flexible whitout it (and
not too expensive)


Look out, serious logic fail. Their cost is precisely why they need a fly ride (or flying ride) dumbass. If they aren't deep-striking or infiltrating, they'll need something to keep their asses alive, cause we all know they'll get shot to shit if they're not wrapped in a candy coating of vehicle.


Plus, having the option to be mounted doesn't detract from their flexibility at all. Give them a chimera (a good idea)- you can still deepstrike or infiltrate them if you feel the need, just don't deploy them in their chimera. As a bonus, having an extra chimera floating around could be useful for ride swapping (for ISTs, grey knights, etc.) Same goes for putting them inside
Valkyries/Vendettas (also a good idea). This doesn't limit their flexibility, but increases it, all from the warm nougaty center of a transport that is a killing machine by itself.

==============================================
*does it also stare back into me?

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The day I lost all interest in Planetstrike

I've already gone on record railing against GW's constant stream of shit rules supplements over the last few years. This is a case of trying to do too much too quickly. While I was pretending to study for marketing earlier (50 questions 15 minutes, first one done, and already graded= 96%...) I got hooked in by a BoLS article about combos used to defeat guard. Now, this article is pretty bland and leads to list tailoring (read: cheating), but I decided to throw in my two cents and throw a combo* of my own into the ring. I decided to make it a more generalist combo, though, that will work against anybody. Way to be on topic, self.

Said combo is completely mean and unnecessary and I'm glad that the friend I pulled it on didn't punch me in the face. This is yet another reason that I enjoy playing against friends rather than random kids at the FLGS. My buddies tend to have a better sense of humor about shenanigans. Now, you're going to read the following and think, wow Dethtron, you are totally trying to pwn noobs, this won't work against veteran players. Well, you're wrong, and I'll tell you why after the break.

Here's the thread:

Dethtron- For planetstrike Pair a DH Inquisitor w/ 2x mystics w/ anything when you are defender and watch your opponent cry.

The last, and probably last ever, time I played planet strike I placed my inquisitor right next to an executioner squadron when playing against CSM. I also used a terrain setup and strategems that all but forced my opponent to DS within 9-12" of my combo and watched the incoming marines melt
.

spiderglow- Hi, can you explain me how does this combo works?. Do you use auspex? I run witchhunters and would like to check if I can use this combo.

Dethtron- my original reply seems to have disappeared into the aether, so here's another one:

This combo won't work with WH, as the mystics are the key. Here's what you need to make this mean:
-set up your objectives/bastions all on a short edge of the board. Line both long edges with impassible terrain that would stop transports, footsloggers and other vehicles from coming on close to you.
-clutter the midfield with with terrain to prohibit midfield deepstrikes
-leave a sweet zone 9-12" away from your inquisitor where opponent can deepstrike . leave another zone on the opposite short board edge, where your opponent may deep strike or come on normally.
-load up on barrage weapons/long range firepower

when you have the mystics w/ inqisitor, he can tell any unit within 12" of him to fire at an enemy who deepstrikes within 4d6" of him (expected value is 14"). if he happens to be standing by a pair of leman russ executioners, your enemy will have to eat 10 plasma cannon shots EVERY time he deepstrikes near you. If he doesn't deep strike, he has to slog across the field the whole game and through a "bog of terrain" that you have created in the midfield. He must either deep strike into his certain doom or be forced to run across the whole field, getting shot to pieces by your abundant long range fire the entire game.

This can be pulled off in non-guard allied forces as well, just plop anything heavy hitting (from devastators to typhoon speeder squadrons to exorcists) by the inquisitor and watch the bodies fly.


Remember when I said this isn't just about pwning N00bs with an obvious trick? Here's why- nobody is going to fall for the deepstrike trick more than once, unless they are dumb as shit. They are, however, completely fucked whether or not they deepstrike, because deploying all the wy across the board is a shitty option as well. So the combo isn't really the important thing, the threat of the combo is, and by giving your opponent the choice of a shit situation or a shittier one, you've pulled quite the dick move.

....and that was the day that I lost interest in Planetstrike. After a handful of games (and almost $300 in new terrain), it became the least fun thing in the universe to play. This is so ridiculously geared towards defending that I don't enjoy attacking or defending. That firestorm shit, doesn't make up for all he free cover you an weapons get along with the ability to tailor the board to your own sadistic whim as a defender. Hint for surviving the firestorm- if you're guard take trenches and go to ground the first turn. You get a ridiculous cover save for all your models and your officers can order everybody back into the fight for the beginning of the game. Last time I played, I lost 1 fucking guardsman with a lasgun to the opening barrage.

I really wanted to enjoy Planetstrike, but it just fell short of all of my expectations. Fluff is fun, but not when it involves ass-raping 1 player every time you play. That's not what I call fun.

Full disclosure, I wound up fucking up my terrain placement when I pulled this and there was a tiny sliver left on a long board edge where my opponent was able to deploy, losing me a manticore for my efforts. I still won, though. It just wasn't the bloodbath it should have been. The combo is still sound, however.

================================================================
*those that know me know of my love for combos, especially the pizza flavored ones.

Hack the Planet

I have a marketing midterm today, so I won't have the time to dredge up some shit and make fun of it this afternoon. I may get around to it this evening, though. Nevertheless, here's something that happened at my alma matter a back in 2008 that I just found out about. I almost pissed myself when I read it. Why didn't any of my chambana crew alert me to this when it happened?

http://www.dailyillini.com/news/2008/09/23/no-suspect-in-sight-for-eye-of-sauron-prank

Monday, March 29, 2010

The Presets

Certainly not new to the music scene, but definitely under appreciated in most parts of the world, The Presets are helping to bring back my interest in purely synthesized music. Releasing albums from Sydney Australia since 2004, this duo has done wonders to alleviate the boredom in the electronic music scene caused by years of bland trance and shit classified generically as "electronica." Their use of edgier tones, but no less danceable beats creates a very intersting mix that a lot of neo-industrial acts wish they could pull off. Here are some videos from their most recent release 2008's "Apocalypso" which is now triple platinum certified in Australia. First up is the first single off the album entitled "My people" which has a video that probably causes seizures.



2nd video is not my favorite track from the album, but check out 0:11 for a special nerd treat. Here's "if I know you."



Lastly, here's my favorite song/video off their first album, "Beams," called "are you the one?" This video makes me laugh every time I see it and reminds me of some of the early Muppet show stuff on acid. Creepy to say the least!

Gaming and Obesity


In my daily tour of the Internet, I came across a pretty provocative article on "The Army Collector" that deals with gamer obesity. It's not a particularly deep read and doesn't step into examining the issue of obesity in any kind of detail, but I like the candor. The author takes a long look at himself and resolves to change his situation (which doesn't seem too bad in the first place), so kudos to him.

Now I know that there are a large number of gamers out there who don't fit the plus sized gentleman stereotype, but I think that we can all admit that this (and hygiene all too often) is a problem in our community.

I think there are a lot of us out there that can identify with this issue in one way or another. Personally in the face of a rapidly slowing metabolism, quitting smoking, moving from a highly active retail management position to a highly sedentary unemployed status, throwing the towel in on a 15 year stint as a vegetarian, and insert additional victim statements ad naseum I am finding myself in a similar situation. In the last 10 years I have slowly seen my own weight increase from around 160 to damn near 200 pounds today (I think I'm somewhere around 5'9"-10" as I recall). But, I've resolved to fix this issue. I did it once before when I was 15 and I can do it again. The GF and I picked up a sweet elliptical to replace the ancient exercise bike that I decimated* and I am henceforth resolving to use it 5 days a week without fail, with the goal of losing 25 pounds. The proposed miniature rewards program seems like something that might just motivate me towards this. It might also get me some of those blood angels I'm drooling over.

What are your thoughts on this subject? Anybody out there up for starting the "Gaming's Biggest Loser" program with me?
==================================================================
*previous owners of our house left a 15+ year old excercise bike in our basement. It was one of those fan style ones with the moving handlebars. Was using it 3-4 times a week for the past few months, until one of the handlebars broke off in a way that would have required welding to fix.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Battleforce List Alert! Battleforce List Alert!


What's up Doc's Projects? As someone currently dabbling with Tyranids, I've been scouring the internet for some articles about list building and tactics with the new codex*. As you might suspect, I've come across a lot of awful shit in this quest. With so many cool units in the codex and what amounts to a vastly different approach to the army than the 4th edition codex, I think everyone out there is confused as hell about how they're supposed to be using their bugs. The result is a mashing together of all of someone's favorite units that don't fit together at all and no explanation of tactics. Honestly, from what I've seen out there, most people don't even get the new tactics necessary to make Tyranids work.


The link above shows just one such force. If you scroll all the way to the bottom, you'll get a nice little quote from the author, saying that this isn't his normal style "soft" list. I'd hate to see what his other lists look like. Here are some initial thoughts about his Tyranids-


  • Zoanthropes and Hive Guard in the same list. One or the other please, you're just reducing your effectiveness by mixing and matching these units.

  • Trygons and Mawlocs together. If you're going to use Mawlocs you'll need a bunch, since they miss 1/3 of the time. Diluting them like this just means that your deepstrikes won't be likely to work out. Conversely, only 1 Trygon gives your opponent an obvious target.

  • What the fuck is going on in troops land? Genestealers, Warriors, and Hormagaunts all in one list? How is that supposed to synergize? I am super confused about what exactly that was supposed to accomplish.

So, without any tactical discussion of how this list is supposed to do anything, I just don't see where it's headed. For the record 'I beat my buddy's SM list' is not a tactical discussion. Super unhelpful and open to large amounts of interpretation. Was your buddy spamming Devastators? Was it all jump infantry? Giving your list real street cred requires a deeper analysis of what it has accomplished.

Over all, I think that the Doc should stick to his painting posts. He's got some pretty sweet shit up on that front, although I'm not enamored of his Hydra conversion.


Here is a link to the current incarnation of a Tyranids list that I'm tweaking. General Tactics are to use the on field elements to advance slowly, with HVC fire to suppress/stall transports while the beta strike shows up on turn 2 to start doing some actual damage in preparation for turn 3 when all of my units meet up in the middle. Though not great, I've found the Mawlocs to be very helpful in killing vehicles on turns 2 and 3 and then reburrowing to come back and eat troops on turn 5. As a bonus, most people don't fear the Mawloc, so they are not a priority target.


In spite of some early criticism I've been fairly happy with the list so far, but am still looking to up the efficiency. I pulled an almost draw against Mechdar (which I had predicted to be one of my least favorable matchups) and pulled out a few wins against some Landraider based Space marine lists. Possibly considering dropping one of the tyrants in favor of a pair of Harpies, to increase my first turn suppressing fire. This would be at the expense of the (nearly) automatic turn 2 arrival of my deepstrikers, though.



===================================================================

*consequently, should anyone have links to some good information, pass it my way for the love of all that is holy.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Friday Night Internet Fight, Round 4


"40k You Make Da Call" over on Dakka Dakka is always a good time. Here's how a typical thread over there goes- X asks stupid/obvious question, Gwar answers back like a dick, X gets offended and insults Gwar back, and hillarity ensues.

Let's see if this week's "Daemonhunters Chimera/Rhino Open Topped Firing" thread follows this pattern, shall we. Spoiler alert... It does. As always none of the names have been changed to protect the innocent, but their avatars have been for my own amusement (how the fuck does Gwar! not have a Gwar avatar, anyway).

ihatehumans- Daemonhunters Codex:

"A Rhino or Chimera using it's top hatch as a fire point will count as open topped if the saving throw of any of its passengers is worse than 3+."

40k Rule Book

"...all passengers in an open-topped vehicle may fire, measuring range and line of sight from the hull of the vehicle."

Soooo... all of the passengers can fire? ~Sooooo....fuck no! Oh my freaking God, did you seriously even just ask this question? Someone can disprove this, right?....right...guys....anybody? help?

Uriels_Flame-~is marked by a burning sensation during urination and feelings of serenity believe the rule for firing points comes to play here; with Rhino's having 1, and Chimera having 2. ~who would have suspected that the firing point rules come into play with questions about firing points?

don_mondo- Yep, the open-topped bit only applies for damage results during you opponent's next turn. ~case closed...or maybe it would be if you cited a rule, thanks for contributing nothing.

nosferatu1001- That quote is missing the "in the opponents next shooting phase" part, which explains exactly what is meant by "counts as open topped" ~ahh, imperical evidence at last. So, case closed? Too bad the version I have of the DH codex doesn't have any mention of "in your opponents next shooting phase"

No, you dont get to fire everything out of it, it is a penalty not a help ~intended to be this way, but sort of ambiguously worded

Gwar!-~ahh, I was wondering where you were you troll, you Indeed. Quote the whole rule next time. It is only open topped in your enemies turn, not yours. ~so being a dick and stating something someone else already laid to rest without adding anything new... You, sir, are the most helpful person on the internet.

ihatehumans- Page 33 of the Witch Hunters and Page 30 of the Daemon Hunters codex there is no such line. ~uh oh Please read your Codex instead of making up imaginary rules lines. ~nice It's an easy mistake to make, one I did my self, but it does not specify precisely when or for how long it counts as open topped . It's fair to assume it lasts until your next shooting phase ~it is fair, but the stopping point of being open topped isn't the issue, the beginning point of the rule is, when you can opt to NOT use the top hatch thus voiding the condition and it's effect, but exactly WHEN it comes in to play is shady.

I was hoping for a better explanation of why (obviously) you can't fire everyone, instead of GWAR being all like "HUR QUOTE MOAR PLX" which is terribly unhelpful since as I stated that's the WHOLE sentence from the codex. ~well, then you've come to the wrong place...

How do you think it would look when I try to explain to my local TO that "Well GWAR said read all the rules." ... and they do ... and come to the same conclusion? Remember, it's not "40K You Flame Da Noob" I think this section of the forums is more to explain how AND WHY the rules are interpreted. ~but this wouldn't be fun if that's how it really panned out.

I look forward to a more elaborate and eloquent reply ~good luck with that

Gwar!- Well, considering it doesn't count as open topped until you have declared your shooting, at which point you can hardly go back and say "But it's open topped NOW"... ~this seems to relate to some sort of time travel paradox somehow

And for the Record, the WH Entry explicitly states "when shot at or assaulted". ~eloquence in action, except that it doesn't actually state that. According to the version of the WH codex I have, the open topped fire point rule isn't anywhere to be found at all(page 33...this codex has at least 2 versions with various discrepancies that were printed. I believe this may actually be one of those discrepancies). Hi I'm Gwar!, I've made 15,000 posts here (barely an exaggeration...poor soul needs friends, I think) and am always right- I am above the law!
Spoonermerlin- That's funny where in the original question does it say WH.

If you’re going to bust on him because you thought he did not quote the whole rule don't answer for a codex that's not in the point (even though he brought it up) As Written it never says until you declared your shooting. It says using its top hatch as a fire point.

I know people that would say at the time they are using/firing it is opened top, They are not using it on your opponents turn they stopped when they finished firing.

Otherwise explain how they are using it as a fire point on the other players turn. It should say it was used as a fire point but it doesn’t. ~so somebody who can barely construct a sentence is trying to make syntax based arguments...my head hurts

I believe this should be if you fired that turn then on the other players turn it should be open topped. ~RAI...will it be enough to win you the argument? I'm not the one always pointing to specifically the way things are worded and arguing the points.

ihatehumans- The INAT FAQ mentions the 'added' repair rule to the Rhino that (correct me if I'm wrong, with a page number) is not in the codex, and it explicitly describes the fire points of Rhino and Chimera (including the lasguns, which I can also not find the page for) but doesn't mention ANY ruling on the open topped-ness of firing out of the chimera.

I find this strange as it is obviously an old rule that, ideally, should at least have some clarification (since the new chimera has 5 fire points, no lasguns and no open topped counting).
~Well, have at it. Who's right in this situation? Do we even all have the same rules in our hands due to the number of different printings of these codexes? I went into this expecting to rally against ihatehumans, but as I did my own fact checking with the codex(es) and Faqs, I think he may have some real RAW leverage. Anybody else want to take a crack at solving this clusterfuck? Let the round begin ::ding ding::

Friday Night Internet Fight, Round 3 Results show


Well, I lost this one. Not as badly as it looked like I was going to from the onset, but a loss no less. Story of my fucking week, man....

Anywho, congrats to Expletive Deleted for capturing 41% of the vote. Now the question is: will he step forward and unmask himself?
I guess short and sarcastic beats out long winded rants. Will I change my methods? Not likely.
Thanks for voting and please remember to e-mail me a link if you see or participate in a fight that you think needs some extra perspective.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Mördermannschaft


After reading the kill team rules from battle missions and thinking about preparing a guard list, I wanted to do something to highlight how badly written the mission rules are. I'm not one of those guys who will bad mouth GW up and down constantly. Many of the decisions they've made lately and material they've released is, in fact, very high quality-better than ever, even. That being said, though, I'm becoming increasingly unexcited about all of the games supplements being released. Apocalypse is fun every once in a while, but doesn't give the return on time invested that I'd like to see. Cities of death is barely relevant as most of the rules there have been incorporated into the main rules. So you get stratagems and new missions. Still fun, but a little meh. Planetstrike is just plain awful. It is so strongly balanced in favor of the defender that it isn't fun to attack or defend. Although I have yet to use it, Battle Missions doesn't look much better, either. Most of the missions seem to be skewed heavily to one side. If I showed up for a tournament and found out that those scenarios were being used, I would probably go back home. Soon we'll be getting spearhead, promising lots of vehicular combat and mechanized armies. I already play that game. It's called fucking 5th edition.


Anyway, back to kill teams. This thing is very poorly thought out. When trying to make a list of my own more questions came up than answers. If each man is a unit on his own, how does the psyker battle squad perform, can transports carry more than 1 person, blah blah blah? You get the idea here.


The balance is all sorts of out of whack too. MEQ armies gain huge advantages from getting to give 3 team members USR. Here is my terminator with FNP. Now compare that to giving a guardsman the same. Doesn't seem fair, does it?


Most English speaking sites aren't giving too much lip service to this (or any) mission in the new book, so I had to go all the way to Germany(well and Ireland as well) to find somebody playing this mission. I'll translate the relevant parts of this thread for you which will highlight some of my frustrations with Kill Teams.


Crazy_Irish-
You may know me from such films as...
Oh, that started wrong.

Some of you already know me from Warseer, but others may not. The
time has come to collect tactics/army lists for the Kill Team special mission
from the new W40k supplement "Battle Missions."


I'll begin with a little 200 point IG Veteran troupe, soon to be known as
"a lorry load of volunteers"


Veteran squad: Heavy Bolter (weapons specialist)~so not good against vehicles and pointless to shoot at a single infantryman, flamer (move through
cover), grenade launcher, plasma gun~if you really must take plasma, maybe this dude needs the fucking FNP, veteran sgt (feel no pain power fist),
chimera (heavy bolter, heavy bolter, storm bolter, dozer blade)~more HBs, what the fuck. Would rather see ML and spend excess points elsewhere- 195
points.


As you can see, as IG normally do, shoot lots of guns and get the PF
Sgt in CC when necessary.


Now you

Dragon_King-
@Crazy: How do you rule on vehicles, can only one man get in?
In my group we'll probably take the same restrictions as the old Kill
Teams-rules. No vehicles, that'll help...


Crazy_Irish-
We probably won't allow BCM(? not sure what this abbreviation stands for, definitely not body cell mass...), but will allow vehicles. Because you can only put 1 model
inside.


Dragon_King-
I was thinking the following:
No vehicles with armor over 32 (Front+side+rear)
No model with over 2+ save/3+ ward
No model with over 2 wounds
No more than 20 models (it should be specialist commandos, not "I flood the
board with recruits and grotz)
Maximum 1 infantryman with heavy weapon
Maximum 1 infantryman with a flamer weapon
Maximum of 1 vehicle

Too heavily restricted?

I would experiment with playing a few truescale marines, and 6 grey
knights, with a justicar and psibolter. I mostly play against IG, so would
be outnumbered 3-5 to 1.

Uebergefreiter-
Sounds sensible to me. Maybe 20 models is too little (EG: 20 standard
guardsmen = 100 points). Closer to 30 would be better.

To the list from the crazy Irishman:
Looks good. But, the fist on the sergeant looks a little funny...I
never buy them, not even for kill team.

The rest of the thread goes into some specifics about army lists that people are planning on using. Not very exciting, and you should be able to pick up on it without speaking German.


So a couple of points that are raised here- the system is fucked and the players are not happy with it. They may not be saying it directly, but look at how they're forcing extra restrictions on the game to try and balance it. Probably wouldn't do that to a system that you like would you? Thanks GW for taking another $25 on a book that I won't be using. I think I just lost my boner for 5th ed kill teams. Maybe it's time to bust Necromunda back out to satiate my skirmish bloodlust.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Primer via the Hobby Lauby


You may have remembered that last week I promised to be positive on Mondays. That's still totally happening. Go check out this article from a while back at Laubersheimer Industries. Then go check out the follow up article.


He has got some great painting articles up on his site, and I found his article on primer to be quite helpful and informative. A certain other gigantic blog that none of us here seem to think much of has been running articles on this subject with lots of incorrect information in them. Go check this one out instead and spread the word.


If you take only two things away from this experience it should be that-


  • if your can doesn't say primer, it isn't

  • duplicolor sandable primer is inexpensive and good

On a personal note I have switched from Citadel (too expensive), to dork tower (worst spray paints ever made, unless you enjoy stripping fuzzy paint globs from 90% of what you paint*), to krylon black spray (good but not really primer), and have ended up on duplicolor. Haven't regretted the switch, although I have run into instances where even my fingernails will rub primer off of a metal model. I have a feeling that this has less to do with the primer and cokenails and more to do with me generally not washing minis before assembly. Fuck you mold release agent!



=====================================================================


*I paint in my basement** with a dehumidifier, so humidity is not the problem. I also always hold the can upside down and spray until clear mist comes out after use to clear the nozzle, so that's not the issue. The issue is that this truly is the shittiest paint ever.


**I'd fuck me***


***yo dawg, I heard you like foot notes....

Saturday, March 20, 2010

The Horrors

Those of you reading this site in the UK have probably had this band shoved down your throat for the last 3 years or so by NME, but these guys haven't really made their presence known on the other side of the pond.

With two albums in the bag, they have proven their musical chops and put a lot of buzz to bed about being a one trick pony or more concerned with fashion than music*. With their second album, "Primary Colours," they unveil a new more mature sound than the harsher, punkier first album, "Strange House." 'More mature' is usually used as a euphemism for boring, but luckily in this case it's not. They show some real talent with song craft and made a really good neo-shoegaze record in the process. I still think I like the grit of the first album better myself, but the girlfriend and most of my friends prefer the second. I'll put two vids up here, so you can decide for yourselves.

The first is Sheena is a parasite from "Strange House." Video is directed by Chris Cunningham of Aphex Twin fame. It features the creepiest use of squid vagina I've ever seen.



The second video is the second single from "Primary Colours" and arguably my favorite on the album. Here's "Who Can Say."







=============================================================================
*although they do appear in an episode of The Mighty Boosh that seemed to exist only to make jokes about pencil leg jeans.

The Best Leman Russ or the Worst Advice?


I used to get quite a lot of information from the chaps over at boot camp. Prior to the release of the newest IG codex, it even seemed that most of it was good. Something about the 5th ed book has confused all the site's members greatly. Here's what I mean: "What is the Best Leman Russ Tank?"


Starry eyed Jack42494 has just awoken on a frosty, idyllic Christmas morning to find that Santa has left him money in his stocking hung above the hearth with care. He is chomping at the bit to put this towards a new tank. He's even smart enough to admit that he can't decide which tank he wants- we guard are spoiled for choice, after all. Unfortunately, he decides to ask his question on Boot Camp.


The first response pretty much sets the tone. Torquemoda, from Latvia, says that there is no best Leman Russ. Sadly, this may be the only response here with a modicum of truth to it. On the plus side, he challenges anyone that thinks the punisher is good to come to Latvia and fight him. Later in the thread someone offers to take him up on his offer and they get into a fantastic argument. It ends in Torquemada telling the other guy that in spite of being 100 pounds lighter, he will kick his ass since he was born in Soviet Russia (?)- in Soviet Russia post trolls you! The post is worth reading for that alone.


Anyhow, the thread goes on for 4 pages or so and nobody asks a single question of the poster, to figure out what kind of vehicle he really needs. Nobody asks if he is playing a mobile game, what other units he brings, if he needs a generalist tank or a specialized one, or any other questions. Instead everyone jumps up on their fucking soapbox to preach to him about why they vote for their favorite tank.


The consensus of the thread seems to be that the main battle tank variant is the superior, decked out with a lascannon and bolter sponsons no less. Yay points sinks. Yay for putting an expensive single shot, piece of shit lascannon on a WS3 unit. Most of the posters seem to think that it is the most generalized tank and therefore the best. It may be the most general, but it's genericness makes it ok at several things and good at nothing. Not the best use of points. It gets even worse when people start talking about how good the vanquisher is and that it's the best tank out there. So we go from the least to the most specialized tank...nice.


I believe that there is only one person who even mentions the Demolisher (my choice as best all around) and not a single person mentions flamers. So damn awful. Worse still, everyone seems to want to put sponsons on everything. OOh, my tank is now more expensive, is harder to get in cover, and encourages me not to move. Real win-win situation there. Hint, if you take a Demolisher with a heavy flamer and no sponsons it is cheap, will not tempt you to camp, and provides an answer to most threats.


The thing that really gets me is how bad some of Wodonthewargod's advice is. He's generally regarded as something of a tank guru over there and I can't figure out how the hell he got his reputation. See for yourselves, click that Leman Russ tactica link he gives. It's not all bad, but it's barely good.


I think I'll just be going to Boot Camp for their WiP and Gallery sections. Those are usually pretty high quality.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Friday Night Internet Fight, Round 3


Oh shit, now I've done did it. For those of you keeping up with BoLS this week, there have been some pretty awful posts. Nothing new there really, but I've been a little more active than normal with my responses. I didn't think I was being mean or anything, but I managed to get under Big Red's Skin Pretty badly in the Mechdar article (towards the end of the first page of comments). If for no other reason go there because the irony there is priceless.

That was fun for a number of reasons, but I don't think it was fightworthy. Luckily, earlier in the week somebody picked a fight with me here. While trying to explain that although the Exorcist is good, it is not as good as the Immolator in most lists, I was ganged up on by two girls. Under other circmstances, that would probably be awesome. Here, though, not so much.

As always, none of the names have been changed to protect the innocent, but their avatars have been for my own amusement. Without further ado, I give you this week's train wreck.

Guest- This was a tactics article?

Dethtron- in all fairness he did say that his tactics are "point and click." that's enough to make this a tactics article, right..... ~best tactics ever

in all seriousness, this is seriously overhyped ~I'm seriously for serious about this seriousness. I know that sisters players get no love and all your stuff was pulled off the shelves and you may never get a new codex, but lying about how good a unit is to get people to talk about any army that almost nobody talks about is B.S. This tank is good. Not reliable, but if you have 2 of them you've got an expected value of 6 missiles per turn. ~expected value is actually (6+5+4+3+2+1)/6= 3.5...more on that later Not too bad. It will mess up transports (but so will an autocannon) and it will mess up MCs (but so will most guns), but you're better off taking immolators. They will mess up infantry and they carry ladies who should have meltas, which mess up everything else. Taking any number of exorcists just means you get that many less immos in your army. not the best idea.

Ganmeyde- but these GO TO ELEVEN! ~Spinal Tap win; being on topic fail

Lancks- FYI, you get an average of 3.5 missiles per turn, so two produces 7 shots on average, per turn. ~thanks professor. I'd like to point out that I did recently set the curve on a graduate level stats course, in spite of what my serious mathhammer fail here would suggest.

In my experience, while the Exo is great against everything, it's mainly to there to take out what Sisters can't - long range armour, and barring a nice divine guidance roll, Terminators. S8 AP1 is simply the bane of all termies. ~dear everyone, don't flip out about termies so much. massed fire kills them dead too.

Dethtron- well, if you do the math correctly it's 7 missiles, but if you want to fudge the numbers to prove a point you call it 6. Would you like me to perform a regression to prove the relationship between suck and exorcists? H1: excorcists = good. Ho: excorcists =/- good ~math jokes :)

Lancks- I was told there would be no math! ~haha, you brought up my math fail dickwad

melissia- "you're better off taking immolators"
HAH!

No. No, you are not. ~yes you are you fuckshit Immolators are neat and all, but they can only carry six Sisters. Which means you must take a more expensive squad in order to use them. ~less sisters = more points, at least I'm not the only one failing math today Dominions pay out of their arse for special weapons, Celestians aren't exactly cost-effective, and Retributors cannot fire their expensive weapons and move at the same time. And all of these are more expensive than an Exorcist. ~more expensive but for more shit. what's harder to kill 1 single weapon tank or a transport full of hawtness?

Dominions run 200+ points for four meltaguns, immolator, and veteran, depending on how the vet is kitted out. Celestians run 160+ points for two meltaguns, immolator, and veteran. Retributors run a lulzworthy 230+ points for four multi-meltas, immolator, and veteran. ~and are a terrible idea to take. we agree on something at least. All of these are much more expensive than the Exorcist, and yet disgustingly short ranged. ~unless you factor in movement, then the range of the immo is not so shitty. It's called a threat range, you should learn how to use it, dumbass

No, sir, you are not better off taking immolators. You are better off NOT taking immolators.
PS, Immolators are vastly overpriced (lol, and the squads that can take them aren't much better. As heavy support choices, they are laughable at best, because they are so easy to destroy. ~1 immolator is easy to destroy. 6-8 not so damn much. Thanks for proving nothing.

Immolators are like overpriced razorbacks. ~razorbacks overprice, now I know you're an idiot Okay, no, that's not right.

Immolators ARE overpriced razorbacks.

rob0362 - Could not have said it better myself but they will not bust open AV14 anytime soon ~wow, heavy flamers can't pop AV14, how did you ever deduce that? That's why you take meltas like I already said. Learn to read.

RedScorpionsGirl- The sisters ARE getting a new 'dex... It's titled "Forces of the Inquisition". ~believe it when I see it you wishlisting sack of shit The exorcist is a wonderful tank, and it IS reliable, the only downfall with using it is that you need line of sight, so make sure whatever you are going after is dead. Almost nobody talks about this army because all the talk is bashing it. ~no, if you listen, a lot of people who know how to use WH love the army There's nothing wrong with this and Daemonhunters, they are both competitive armies, with their current 'dex, you just need to understand how they work, and the right type of build you need to do to have them winning every game. When I actually choose to get my sisters out for our local tourney, the general reaction is oh #*%& she's got her sisters! When I play them, I regularly place in the top 3. ~is there a female analog to dick waving? Immolators, while effective, are not the best solution for everything also. ~unless it's loaded up with a combination of anti armor and anti infantry units for super duality I can answer any problem fun times You need to have those hard hitting shots from time to time, when something big comes your way, or there's something that's being a problem to you.

melissia- Every rumor points at us getting a grey knights codex late this year or early next year, which means no forces of the Inquisition. ~blah blah blah I don't have a source on this, I'm just making up shit for the sake of posting something. Besides, the Sisters aren't actually a part of the Inquisition to begin with.

Dethtron- awesome, thanks for putting words in my mouth.

things I didn't say or imply:

1) the inquisition sucks- I actually bring a DH inquisitor around with my guard in most games. mystics and psychic hoods are a good time. I am also really afraid of units like immolators in the hands of people, who unlike those posting in this forum, know how to use them. I think both codexes need to have some things fixed in them to bring them up to par rules and points cost-wise, but I still like the forces of the inquisition. ~fix them assassins. I love them, but they cost too damn much

2) the immolator is the end all be all of inquisition's vehicles and will solve all your problems- you would have to be an idiot to think that a TL heavy flamer armed immolator could alpha strike vehicles and answer every threat. Not being an idiot, I didn't even imply it.... To run immolators properly you need to support them and outfit them correctly.

Let me break a scenario down for you that will show why I would take immolators over exorcists any day of the week:
-your opponent has a chimera with melta vets in it or a rhino/waveserpent/trukk/devilfish with anything in it, but you get to go first.
-you can pick an exorcist
- for the exact same points you can take 5 inquisitorial stormtroopers with 2 melta guns in an immolator

If you take the exorcist you will probably kill the tranport. Then whatever's inside is still alive and will be a threat to you in your turn. If you're lucky and your exorcist survives, you might get to throw 3.5 missiles into the squad that just got out. Unfortunately some of those will miss and your opponent is probably in cover, so you will wound a guy or two. Wow, that's some amazing performance!

If you take the Immolator/stormtroopers the stormtroopers should be able to slag the transport. Now the unit inside the enemy transport has to disembark, leaving them bunched up together. Oh sweet, you still have a TL heavy flamer to roast the, now bunched up, guys whose ride you just exploded. Oh did I forget to mention that you're also now a scoring unit. Oh and you could have just moved 12" and still done all of the above.

Now multiply that across your army- sneak 6-8 of those immolators in and you've got a scary party. Back them up with some more anti armor- like autocannon guard squads or maybe move stuff around so that your stormtroopers are riding in a Valk or a vendetta, ~I don't think that's legal in hindsight, stupid inducting FAQ, putting them in chimerae liberated from your inducted guard is a good time, though and you've got something serious to bring to the game.

If you showed up with those exorcists I would laugh at you, kill your scoring units, and then blow up your exorcists if I still had time. ~half true. I do play against a friend who uses these, and they wreak havoc on my Tyranid MCs. My mech guard isn't a huge fan either, but I still think Immos are better here.

And last, as far as "codex the inquisition" is concerned...good luck with that. You really think that while GW is focusing on revenue generating projects like fixing fantasty, Dark Eldar, Necrons, etc etc etc... that the inquisition is going to make an appearance this year. Could happen yes, but not likely. So as far as the rumor mill goes, I will believe it when I see official word come from a reliable source.

melissia- Stormtroopers cannot purchase Immolators as transports, ~no shit, sherlock and so you have to take up both a troops choice and a heavy support choice for that selection. Furthermore, stormtroopers SUCK. ~facepalm

I'm not being mean or biased. ~oh noes, you offended my stormtroopers, how ever will they live down this shame? THEY DO. Stormtroopers are one point less per model than Sisters of Battle, and yet Sisters of Battle have power armor, bolters, better morale/pinning rules (BoSL), and Acts of Faith . Stormtroopers get carapace, the old hellguns, and frags, no special morale rules, and so on.

That immolator is easy to pop, and when it's popped the stormtroopers inside are easy to kill. ~and cheap enough that I could give a fuck that they died And there's only five of them anyway. Indeed, it's easier to destroy the immolator and five guys in it than it is to destroy the chimera and the TEN guys in it.~serious example fail with no expanation to back it up And all of this for roughly the same price? No thanks, I'd rather take a unit that doesn't suck. The exorcist can take out the chimera with ease long before it can ever get in range to deliver those melta shots, and then turn its guns on other targets--~only to let my other melta squads still make it through to kill you letting your Sisters mop up the veterans with a flamer/bolter burst.

No, sir, you are still wrong. The immolator is nothing more than an overpriced razorback. It costs the same amount to get an immolator with tl multimeltas as it does to get a predator with with AC and HBs, except the predator also gets free smoke and searchlight, and front armor 13. And thus the predator doesn't suck like the Immolator does. ~i'm glad that MM Immos and Predators have anything to do with this discussion

The Exorcist IS the end-all be-all of heavy support vehicles in the codex. Sisters don't really need assistance with anti-infantry, they're one of the best armies in the game for that purpose (bolters and flamers en masse, oh yes),~except for Tau, and IG, and a bunch of other armies and for anti-armour at range nothing in the army can beat the Exorcist because there IS no other anti-armour at range. Even against horde armies the immolator sucks, the penitent engines and retributors are what you'd want against those armies (yes, the p.engine is a better choice than the immolator). ~please shut the everloving fuck up before you make a bigger idiot out of yourself

Dethtron- Well you are officially a lost cause madame. Thanks for playing and enjoy sucking at WH. 'But I win against my local group...' blah blah blah way to be a big fish in a small pond. I could try and tell you all of the logic holes in your argument, but alas, they would fall on deaf ears. Plus regardless of what I say you will continue to put words in my mouth...I never said Stormtroopers were getting immolators as a dedicated transport. It should be obvious to anyone with the codex that they can't.

For anyone interested in playing better let me debunk some insanity:

"stormtroopers suck"- except that 5 stormtroopers are the single cheapest/most efficient way to get 2 meltas in the game. For the record, though, I wouldn't put these guys in an immolator. They would most likely get a chimera (stolen from an IG infantry platoon for the better rules). Buff ladies w/ meltas and/or flamers go into the immolators.

"the immolator is easy to pop"- really, how long did that take you to figure out? That's why you take A LOT of them. Sure your opponent can kill one or two, but can they kill 6 or 8? They might do so over the course of the game, but you still will have been able to use them to bring unlimited amounts of pain on your foe and drop your troops wherever you need to have them to score.

"And there's only five of them anyway. Indeed, it's easier to destroy the immolator and five guys in it than it is to destroy the chimera and the TEN guys in it."- except that the contents of your immolator have power armor and are more survivable against small arms. Plus, the points costs for an immolator full of nuns with guns will run you fairly close to the same points cost as Chimera/melta vets. (note codex not handy, numbers pulled from my @ss, but fairly close).

Don't listen to the melissias rant about not having ranged anti-armor for sisters. For one, an immolator with melta amed troops in it can move 12" and fire. 12" deployment +12" + 12" melta range ~plus 2" disembark range means you can hit your opponent on turn 1 if you need to. Also the inquisition has this sweet ranged anti-tank option called "inducted guard." Load up on autocannons and you can get 12 S7 shots for slightly more than the price of an exorcist ~or actually closer to 2 exorcists in cost...oops, again with my math skills. and that last bit about penitent engines is so far off base and out of left field that this is the only comment I have (_l_) ~maturity win!

melissia- I stand by everything I say. If you take stormtroopers, you are picking the weaker troops choice of the army. Not I. I am not sucking at a WH army, I don't PLAY a WH army. I play Sisters. Sisters are stronger than a WH army. ~hooray for pointless semantics arguments, surely that will win favor for you

The army is quite damn strong, something most people wouldn't really want to face off against. There's more firepower in a properly put together Sisters army than any Stormtrooeprs based army can ever hope to compare with.

An example 2000 points Sisters army. And this isn't even the best one can come up with, just something easy to use and made on the fly. ~totally not the best, but not as bad as I was expecting, honestly


Canoness w/blessed weapon, frags, book, cloak, auspex
-- 8 Celestians w/Frags, 2x Flamers
-- Veteran w/bolt pistol, eviscerator
-- Rhino*

Canoness w/Eviscerator, bolt pistol, book, cloak, auspex
-- 8 Celestians w/Frags, 2x Flamers
-- Veteran w/bolt pistol, eviscerator
-- Rhino*

9 Battle Sisters w/melta, heavy flamer
-- Veteran w/BoSL, bolt pistol, brazier of holy flame
-- Rhino*

9 Battle Sisters w/melta, heavy flamer
-- Veteran w/BoSL, bolt pistol, brazier of holy flame
-- Rhino*

9 Battle Sisters w/melta, heavy flamer
-- Veteran w/BoSL, bolt pistol, brazier of holy flame
-- Rhino*

9 Battle Sisters w/melta, heavy flamer
-- Veteran w/BoSL, bolt pistol, brazier of holy flame
-- Rhino*

9 Battle Sisters w/melta, heavy flamer
-- Veteran w/BoSL, bolt pistol, brazier of holy flame
-- Rhino*

Exorcist

Exorcist

Exorcist


The army has 70 power armored models, tons of bolters, cover ignoring templates, lots of Acts of Faith, lots of morale boosts (LD10 with super-stubborn to quite a few squads), lots of meltaguns, and of course, three Exorcists, which if you focus fire on the Exorcists you'll leave yourself open for a short-ranged Sisters rush. ~except wasting early firepower on exorcists would be dumb, most good players would want to stop the coming rhino rush, aka the real threat. Exorcists aren't scary enough for me to target them early on.

And of course, Sisters are, as a rule, best at short range. And if they don't focus on the Exorcists, that means they get to pound the enemy with impunity. I'd say it's a win-win for me.


*The Rhinos use the Imperial Armour rules, but frankly both Sisters and WH benefit from said rules so don't complain. ~oh so your "awesome" list turns out not to be legal. Way to go

Pinto- what about an immolater spam list? Version i found was: ~maybe not the best version of this I've ever seen, but it's workable
Palatine - Bolter, BoSL - 42 pts
5 Cel Bodyguard - 2 Meltas - 85 pts
Immolator - Smoke - 68 pts

3x
5 Celestians - 2 Meltas, 1 Vss w/BoSL - 100 pts
Immolator - Smoke - 68 pts

2x
10 Battle Sisters - Hvy Flamer, Melta, Vss w/ BoSL - 151 pts
Rhino - Smoke - 53 pts

1x
5 IST - 2 Meltas - 70 pts

2x
5 IST - 2 flamers - 60 pts

3x
6 Dominions - 3 Flamers - 95 pts
Immolator - Smoke - 68 pts

3x
HS Immolator - Smoke - 68 pts

melissia- Also? Only the twin-linked heavy flamers can fire after moving twelve inches. Transport rules still prevent the meltas from firing after moving at cruising speed.

You fail at reading rules... ~OMG, I thought I told you to shut up. Keep digging yourself into that hole.

Dethtron- So there I was about to compliment you on having a well thought out and not wretchedly bad army list, even if it would still get rolled by good players. Pretty good redundancy/duality throughout the army and no super garbage units in there. Plus you win at using the word "fluff" successfully and not as an excuse to field a fraking awful foot army. And then you open your fat mouth and pour out this insanity: ~see above quote


I'm assuming you mean you can't fire from the fire points, which is true. Lucky for me I know about this thing caled disembarking that you can do from a transport and still fire (bonus, this gives you an extra 2" + 25mm range for you model). You may want to consult pages 66-67 ~note a citation, this will come up later of the main rules before embarassing yourself further. So next time you feel like opening your snotty mouth, you might want to try and be right.

Also, tactical pro tip for everyone who wants to run the immolator spam list or use their transports for fun and profit. If you have three vehicles, form a triangle/circle with them wth just a tiny space between the vehicles. disembark a unit into the center of your ring of transports and use the small gap to shoot from. This means your vulnerable unit should now have cover, can still shoot enemies, and can't be assaulted. Circle your wagons! With a well done sisters list, you should be able to have 3ish different circles going at once.

melissia- Tell me where it says you can. ~I did already! Could you be more stupid? I do not believe that just because you disembark after moving 12" you can suddenly magically fire again, even though if you did not disembark you could not. ~except for the part of the rules that says a disembarked unit may shoot, but not move. blech...

Furthermore? That army list would not be torn apart. That army list is stronger than anything you could put together that includes Inquisitorial Stormtroopers. ANYTHING. ~LOOK HOW LOUD I CAN TYPE


Expletive Deleted- If only there was some way to buy immolators by themselves in that codex. ~you, sir are a sarcastic bastard. I think I like you Perhaps some kind of heavy support section of the force org. chart or something. Maybe in 6th edition. Maybe by then GW will have also added some kind of rule where units can start the game embarked on transport vehicles even if its not their dedicated transport.
Next challange: figure out why you counter examples all consist of the worse case scenarios. Multi-meltas on the immo, WTF. Oh, and apparently you've discovered that a 6 retributers with heavy weapons costs a lot and is terrible when mounted in an Immo. Its a shame these are the only options available to you. ~haha

Swinging at straw man seems a bit hypocritical when your personal theme song seems to be "If I only had a brain". ~how many movie references can we throw in this thread anyway? Have fun in the vacuum you love arguing in... ma'am (since we're pretending to be polite).

PS: I just learned this the other day: apparently you can take more than 3 immolators at a time. Wild right? ~I know, crazy isn't it.

melissia- Stop making an idiot of yourself and read my posts. I stated they also suck as a heavy support choice because there are better heavy support choices.

Like Exorcists.

Immolators are nothing more than overpriced razorbacks. ~you keep saying this and I have no idea what it means

RedScorpionsGirl- A few points I was making: ~oh sweet, you're back this should be eye opening

1. I agree with Melissa, stormtroopers suck in comparison to the advantages you get when you utilize sisters instead. ~I agree with myself...they're good

2. I run a purely sisters army, so there wouldn't be any stormtroopers or non sisters models, including inquisitors. ~My army has fluff, so it's allowed to suck

3. Nut for bolt, I find the flamers interesting especially when you give them holy promethium, but given the choice, I will field 2-3 exorcists every time. To me, when I have used them, they have an overall use in the list I have. ~so when you don't use them what are you using exactly? I see the usage of the Immolator, but I still don't want to field that many of them.

4. If you check the GW site, the ability to purchase both witchhunters/daemonhunters codexes has been removed. Same tactic that occured when the previous 2 codexes (Wolves and 'nids) have come out. ~except that was done just before the new shit came out. GW still hasn't even announced the existence of this Codex: Inquisition yet I also agree that I'm waiting for the official stance, but I don't think that's going to be for another 2-3 months yet. Hopefully they won't follow through with removing Dark Eldar...I like the models. ~Viva Squats!

5. To each their own. I run my sisters and grey knights a certain way, as does anyone else who plays. ~I can't fault you on this stance I disagree with someone saying that the pure lists aren't competitive, because they are, they just need to be built with an in depth understanding of the special rules available to your particular army (the same as any other army). I enjoy playing fluff based armies, and for the most part, those that I have made doing this have done extremely well. There are certain things I just won't field or utilize, as they don't fit my play style or army.


A reasons I am waiting to see what's up.

1. Here is the link for the witch hunters codex (the link you click on the left side of the page after choosing what army on the GW site). The page is blank, and when you click on the view entire army product list, the codex title bar is there, and the link/price absent.
Check for yourselves:
http://www.games-workshop.com/gws/catalog/armyS...

2. Same problem when I checked the daemonhunter's codex. Again, here is the link:
http://www.games-workshop.com/gws/catalog/armyS...

3. On the UK site, there isn't even a codex option at all in the daemonhunter or witchhunter categories.

4. On the UK site, the actual box of 10 sisters is no longer available, it is only blisters currently listed. Grey knights, power armour box of 5, are also missing.
When the link shows up on the right side of the page for them, they are listed as no longer available.
5. Basing on the previous 4, this is the same manner in which the wolves were subtly introduced, then made official. They went through wanting to sell as much of the old product as feasably possible before the new product was brought out. While it might infuriate all of us, that makes good business sense, get rid of the old stock at full value if at all possible. If you think I'm just starting something about GW having something up with both these armies, check it out for yourselves, that's why I provided the links. If they didn't come through, just go to the GW site and check for yourself, I'm just trying to bring to light the obvious.

Friday Night Internet Fight Round 2 Results Show


Round 2 of Friday Night Internet Fight is over. It was a fun ride this week. We nearly doubled the amount of votes this week and came out with a three way tie for first.

The winners are.......drumroll please......... Forkbanger, Cheeselord, and Bon fucking Jovi each with 29 percent of the vote. Damnit I hate me some Bon Jovi. Shame on your for letting this happen. Well at least we can all say that we've been in a 3 way with Bon Jovi now. How many people can say that? Well, probably more than I'd like to know about, actually.

Also, to whoever the two of you are who voted for Culven- go punch yourselves in the dick :)

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Thunderchart HO!!!!!!!!

Someone implied that I would not make this chart comparing the use of "thunder" in AC/DC's "Thunderstruck" and the "Thundercats" theme. Well I did. Thunderstruck wins at most uses of "thunder," but loses in "thunders" per minute to the "Thundercats Theme." FML!


Edit, It was pointed out that I didn't link the videos used, which blows my scientific method, although I didn't ever have a hypothesis going in. Anyway Thunderstruck and Thundercats

The Internet's Impact on Gaming


Believe it or not, when I first began my forays into the realm of tabletop wargaming and roleplaying, the Internet wasn't a factor in most people's lives*. In those dark days it all started out at my parents' house with Hero Quest and Battlemaster. A short time later this would give way to more complex games like Battletech and Warhammer fantasty. I was hooked from the beginning. In spite of a brief lapse of the nerdly arts while in college, gaming has been a part of my life for a long time.


Recent blog articles, discussions with peers, and my own snarky internal monologue have spent a lot of time debating the impact or existence of a metagame. This got me to thinking about life in the old days before the widespread use of the internet and how that's changed things for me. Now, I couldn't care less whether or not metagames exist. What I care about is how communications technology has altered the games we play. These changes are a double edged sword at best, and I've spent a lot of time ruminating on whether or not I was a happier gamer before I knew about the Internet.


Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly a better player now. With the amount of data that are available on tactics, list building, and even fluff, the modern player is spoiled for choice when it comes to getting help with their game. Unfortunately, for every bit of good advice out there there are a million pieces of bad advice. I feel sorry for players that have been misdirected by some of the bad advice out there. Being pretty good at cutting through the chaff myself, so this has helped my game immensely. My opponents, unfortunately, have access to all of the same types of data that I do. Accordingly, they have stepped up their games as well. It's like a mini arms race around here sometimes.

I've all but permanently shelved a number of units that I built in the past (A Leman Russ company and dinosaur riding Cadian Rough Riders Spring to mind) because other people out there have made me understand that they aren't optimal choices. I enjoyed painting and modelling all of those things, especially the rough riders, but really wish that I could field them again without "knowing" that I could have taken a better unit. You see when my friends were running bad units and I was running bad units, we were still evenly matched in spite of ourselves. I sort of miss the naivete that led me to convert all those rough riders at great financial and time expense.

That's all great for the competitive and even friendly-competitive environments, but am I really any happier? Before this overflow of information I had my own experiences to go on in addition to a limited amount of backup from printed publications. Yes, my lists were awful and I didn't run min/maxed or optimized units. Yes, my target priority was often erratic. Yes, even deployment could be a struggle. You know what though, my opponents had the same problems as well, and we were learning together. These days it almost seems like everyone, myself included, is surfing the net for the next dirty trick to pull on your opponents. I'm OK with this reality, but feel like it may have sapped some of my creative juices. As my lists begin to resemble cookie-cutter Internet lists and lose my own insane input, I can't help but feel I'm missing out on something**. Was I happier playing badly but feeling more open to create? The jury's still out on that I guess. Really maybe nothing but my definition of bad has changed, as the ante has been upped for everyone equally.

A good friend of mine, purveyor of Laubersheimer Industries, has openly praised the Internet*** for rescuing his game on many occasions. He never felt like he could make his army work the way it was supposed to by himself and he lost interest in gaming several times on account of it. While I don't think he always acknowledges the degree to which our friends being cheating bastards impacted his waxing and waning of interest, I could see his frustration. I also don't think that he was ever a bad player in relation to the people he would play against most frequently. He and I always seem to be pretty evenly matched, trading wins and losses in everything from Scrabble to 40k- PS, next time you're in town Lauby, I will show you the miracle that is Bananagrams and whoop your punk ass. Anyway, this whole thing is a matter of perspective, I guess. Being the librarian that he is, my friend sees the availability of information as a great thing for everyone, where I see it as more of a relative stasis. If everyone's game is getting better by around the same amount, has anything actually improved?

There, is one area, however, where the Internet has changed things for the good. Via programs like Vassal, apprentice, or just even VoIP I can now play games with anybody anywhere. For the competitive player, this blows your metagame (whatever that means) wide open with worldwide competition possible on a daily basis rather than at once in a lifetime tournaments. For me personally, this has meant reconnecting with some distant friends, such as Lauby, via a weekly Shadowrun campaign and the occasional game of 40k. With several months of this kind of play in the bag, I can say that although it is no substitute for the real thing, it's a welcome alternative to not playing. In spite of my personal views of IP protection and worries that too many companies give away too much for free online, I also think that technologies like this are great sales drivers. When I play a list online I either already own the analog in real life or am playing it because I'm planning a purchase. Hell, if GW even found a way to develop and monetize their own software, they could really have something profitable akin to MtG online on their hands.

All said and done, I'm still undecided as to whether or not the Internet has really improved things for me personally. I am really interested in what everyone out there thinks about this subject. Leave your comments, and I'll try and wrap this up into some kind of followup article down the road. Everyone is welcome to contribute, from the old curmudgeons like myself to you young whipper-snappers, who remember when Blu-ray trumped HD-DVD, but not when VHS beat out Betamax. Is there such a thing as too much information?

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*Yes, I'm aware that the tubes that comprise the Internet were first laid in the late 1950s, but the Internet was not officially commercialized until the mid 1990s. Fun Fact, as of 2009 25% of the earth's population is on the Internet.

**For the record, I still try and modify the lists that I find out there for my own flavor and am running a home brewed Nids list that I'm in the process of refining with some margin of success. For those that have played me, you may have noticed a distinct lack of insane combos that used to permeate my play style. In MTG, I was the guy who would try and create the most convoluted deck possible and win via alternate victory conditions. Some of that carries over into tabletop games as well for me. In Warmachine I stuck with Menoth, aka the combo army. I've even been known to attempt insane things like seeing if I can get a Culexus assassin to pump out over 20 shots in a turn. Combos are fun, unfortunately, the truly ludicrous that I gravitate towards don't have a place in the competitive scene.

***More specifically YTTH

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

A Note From Underground Re: The Mission


Dear readers, naysayers, cronies, mortal enemies, et al:

As this blog grows and I begin to further define what exactly it is that Dick Move means to me, I figured I'd offer up my thoughts on the way things are shaping up here.

First and foremost, this isn't a blog primarily concerned with tactics. As I have and will continue to freely admit, while I am a decent player, I don't consider myself an authority on tactical maters, list building, and the like. Other people out there do it better than me, so go read them. Unfortunately, part of what I do here has to lead to tactical discussions. I'm not full of myself enough to say that my word here is law. I welcome dissenting opinions, as this helps make us all better players.

Well, what is the mission then? I am on a mission to sniff out bullshit. This is something I'm particularly good at. I am out there most every day dredging up garbage on gaming forums that is so bad that it should make you laugh and the writers feel shame. Even if it doesn't, it makes me laugh and that's good enough for me. There's more than one kind of masturbation that makes use of the Internet, after all*. I like to think of this blog as an extension for all of the blogs, forums, groups, or whatever out there where you can't state your opinion. I can't say what I'm really thinking most places, so I created my own space to do so. You're welcome to join me if you'd like. As a bonus, I won't censor anything**, so you can feel free to say whatever you want. That includes bad mouthing me. Fuck, you don't even have to be constructive about it. I don't take myself seriously enough to be bothered by anonymous lunatics***. Just be prepared to get as good as you give.

What's the point of it all, if all I do is complain? Well, maybe we'll all learn something. Maybe we won't. I hope we can all at least have a good fucking laugh about it, though. No matter what, we should all be able to let off some steam here.


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*both types are fun, though

**I will delete the word winklepicker from any post. Something about that word bugs the shit out of me.

***On my own anonymity, if I weren't currently actively seeking employment I would be a lot less anonymous than I currently am. I even had/have plans for a "wanna punch dethtron in the face" section including my address and phone number for people that really have a bone to pick. But, as it stands, I'd like to keep my real life and Internet persona separate for the time being.

The Raveonettes

Just dug their newest album "In and Out of Control" out of the vault for a listen today and it reminded me what a great band these two are. Originally from the Netherlands, they've since relocated to New York to try and make it big. Still hasn't happened for them yet, although I think I heard a clip of this song during some god awful VH1 show. Saw them live here in Chicago last year and it was one of the best live shows I've seen in a while, especially after being a little underwhelmed by Ladytron's live set earlier in the year.

Anyway, each of the Ravonette's albums is great and I would highly recommend any of them. They have a very unique sound that is sort of a re-imagining of 50s/60s rock in roll with elements of no wave and modern synths added in. It doesn't hurt that their singer/drummer/bassist/guitarist is a stone cold fox either. She's the one singing to the bird at the end of the video. Now sit back and enjoy the happiest song ever written about overdosing.

Necron Rumors


Izual, a man shrouded in mystery, has dropped some fresh Necron rumors of dubious nature in our laps over on DakkaDakka. I think it's safe to say that Necrons are in the pipeline, but I see his post as a model for how not to instill faith in your rumors. I'm not necessarily passing judgement on whether I think these are true or not, but just read on and I hope you'll see the humor buried in there that I do. Or maybe my weak photo editing skills will bring a smile to your face (since my superimposing of a werewolf in a culver's parking lot seems to have gone unnoticed in Friday Night Internet Fight Round 2).


I have some information regarding the development of a Necron codex. I do not
normally come on Warseer ~score so far: flimsy credentials- 1; credibility- 0, but thought you would appreciate this information –
hence the small number of posts. You have no reason to put faith in me ~thanks, maybe I'll stop reading now...score now 2:love – and I
am not prepared to prove my validity at potential detriment to my career. I do
not want to specify my exact employment with Games Workshop for this reason. ~so redshirt then....? they usually get all the juicy gossip...

Necrons have completed the initial concept phase of their line
expansion. Release schedule is currently for January 2011.

This
conceptual phase has been stop-start for some time – it is a product range that
has massive potential, and Games Workshop have been very uncertain of the most
lucrative theme by which to capitalise on its fanbase ~Necrons have a theme beyond robot undead?. The development is
considered a high-risk investment – a commitment problem that the team is well
aware of, and is exacerbated by there being multiple such high-risk line
expansions currently being pursued. ~evidence of DE, Ogre Kingdoms, and Inquisition?



3 multi-part plastic kits
have been finalised as:

- Immortals
- Spyders
- The Necromancer ~please tell me that's a working title or the name for GW's new power metal band


Immortals are on a large (35mm) base ~so GW doesn't make a 35mm base- further evidence against your employment; they are redesigned as larger,
bulkier and more dynamic.

Spyders have 3 different builds

The
Necromancer is the central sell of the line expansion and has been the focus of
much of the early design process. ~GW has been slowly navigating away from this type of sales model. New codexes don't focus on 1 or a handful of good units while making the rest shit these days. Most entries are useful and appealing, so 4-0. It has been through several incarnations (and
names), but is essentially of the same principle as the Bone Giant for the
Warhammer Fantasy range. It has a mechanised skeletal torso housing a suspended
crystal, and will likely have a choice between two horrific weapons.


That is all the information I can disclose. I will not post any
more.

I would like to add that development staff are getting very
frustrated by headquarters’ increasingly tyrannical policies – within and
between departments – ~so you work with or in conjunction with development? I'm calling your boss! haha with regards to information restriction. It’s absurd, and
unnecessary. ~yes and no. some evidence would suggest that leaked information can boost sales. Some information would also suggest that leaked information, especially for a riskier release, could hurt overall sales. Leaked information could even hurt current sale if, let's say, a kid was saving his allowance to buy a trygon, but found out that a new Baal Predator was coming out and held off his purchase.

Well, that's that. Some plausible stuff mixed in there with some stuff that sounds bogus. Anybody want to take a crack at whether or not this bloke is really in the know on this one?

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

How BoLS Didn't Get its Game Back


Sweet merciful crap! BoLS, take a look at your user comments and adapt. You always praise Privateer Press for listening to their target market- maybe you should do the same. I know that half of your deal now is to make controversial posts that drive user comments which in turn drives your ad revenue, but come the fuck on. By having contributors like Robin fucking Reece you are setting the hobby back years and are going to start losing readers. Maybe you should change your operating model back to giving useful advice.

I swear to god I didn't set out with the mission to rip on BoLS on a daily basis, but they make it so hard not to these days. Especially when they decide to bring Robin back for round 2 of his epic series on failing at life: "Winning with Eldar in 5th Edition Part 2" What's professor Reece have for us today? Mechanized Eldar- great that's hard to fuck up, load up on firedragons, fireprisms, and waveserpents and go to town. Well somehow he figured out how to do it though and gives us a list with 1 big ass firedragon squad, some howling banshees, striking scorpions (wtfuck man?), and a bunch of jetbikes. Well at least there are 3 fire prisms in there right. Check it out. It's incredibad.

So, his list writing is shit. Maybe his tactical advice is better. HA- it's not. Favorite quote:




The first thing to consider when making a list in 5th edition in my opinion
is always the same: how will I win games?





....and the first question I have for you is: how the fuck do you win games?

Well Robin, thanks for not explaining how the hell your firedragons are going to live long enough to take out heavy armor. Oh you couldn't explain it because they won't. Thanks for not explaining how this army can even deal with heavy armor- fireprisms and a lone firedragon squad are not the answer. If I were using this list and somebody plopped down a pair of land raiders, I would run to the hills. He also doesn't bother to explain how his unsupported jetbikes are going to make it through the game to hold an objective other than making sure you tank shock threats out of their way or hide them. He can't even explain the tactical decision that lead him to take 2 close combat aspect squads or how he intends to use them. All the real tactical advice he gives on that front is to use your prisms to pop transports (but wait didn't you say your prisms were going after heavy targets...oh no) and charge your aspect warriors in. Why bother doing that if you could stay out of harms way and shoot them?

There is a useful nugget of info buried in there about target saturation being a good thing. It is, unfortunately you don't have any. To succeed at target saturation you would really need to have more skimmers and more redundant units, by which I mean 3 smaller units of firedragons. As it stands now, he presents nothing but obvious, easy to deal with targets. Robin, do yourself a favor and learn some sound tactics and focus on your lists before you present yourself as a scholar of 40k. If you're going to present a fluff army, state that it is. Don't masquerade some clusterfuck of a list as a competetive entry, that is just embarassing.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Full Metal Fury!


If you happen to be in the Chicago area this week why not come check out my new band, Gravedirt? Details are on the flier. This will most likely be our last time performing under that name, as we have transitioned away from the initial horror punk concept into the wonderful world of FUCKING METAL! and are finding ourselves needing a more fitting name. Also, a number of personell changes have occured since the band's inception, so it's time for a rebirth of sorts.
But anyways, I will leave you with a hastily recorded demo* that someone attached some ultra low quality live video to and tried to turn down the suck by splicing in some Gamera footage. And to answer your question in advance, yes he is saying 'land of unicorns.' By way of apology for the poor recording I will let you all know that we should be hitting the studio for real to lay down at least enough material for an EP.



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*seriously this demo was 3 tracks recorded in a little under 2 hours, including setup/teardown time. So we basically got 1 take with everything when all said and done. Idiot "recording engineer" fucked it up so badly that we couldn't even do any overdubs on it, so we couldn't cut out sloppy guitar solos in the end as we'd intended to do. Meh, enough excuses, enjoy this....